On Supernatural, black goo is running in the streets of Doppleganger City

On last night's Supernatural, which was inexplicably named "Slash Fiction," the leviathans continued their mission to snuff out the Winchesters — this time, by posing as Sam and Dean and going totally Pulp Fiction in a series of deadly robberies. And they weren't the only ones getting up close and dirty with their doubles. Spoilers ahead!

So it turns out that there's a whole DNA thing going on with the leviathans
The episode opened with the brothers stepping into a bank, flirting with a teller, and then whipping out a couple of machine guns. Which they used to mow everybody down. Obviously, these aren't OUR Sam and Dean — they're a couple of leviathans, whose goal is to make the boys into the most wanted criminals in the country. In the process, they reveal yet another leviathan power: apparently they've transformed just from sucking a little DNA out of hair they found in the drain at a hotel where Sam and Dean stayed. So the leviathans don't have to kill you to turn into you and gain all your memories. They just have to touch you.

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Good to know.

We actually find this out from the cheese-loving leviathan that Sam and Dean brought to Bobby last week. Bobby's got Cheese Boy chained in his basement, where he's trying every kind of sorcery and anti-demon potion on him to see what works. (Mostly they don't work, though chopping off their heads does slow them down.) Cheese Boy also gives some helpful infodumps about the leviathans, including the bit about the hair. He also reveals that the leviathans are using "heuristic algorithms" to figure out where the brothers are going, based on knowing all their aliases.

Time to meet your doubles

When the Leviathan Winchesters continue to murder people all over America, Sam and Dean decide there's nothing to be done but to confront them directly. There's a kind of weird aimlessness to this aspect of the episode. To help the brothers disappear while they search out their doubles, Bobby sends the them to a tech-loving nutcase who believes all the weird shit going down is caused by government conspiracies rather than monsters, angels, and demons. He screams at the brothers for a while about how they need to throw their cell phones away and buy a new computer and get rid of their car, then sends them away. Not quite sure why we needed that scene, as the brothers don't really make much of an effort to hide themselves other than ditching the Chevy. And the rock reference aliases.

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Meanwhile, Sheriff Mills shows up at Bobby's, and offers to make him sandwiches and clean the floor as a way of offering thanks for saving her life in the hospital. That was another scene where I was forced to ask, "What is this doing here?" Mills doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would offer to clean house for anybody. Mostly her uncharacteristically gender normative moment is used as an occasion to discover the leviathans' only known weakness: cleaners with sodium borate, or borax, in them.

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When a bit of Mills' mopping bucket spills, borax hits Cheese Boy on the arm and immediately starts eating his flesh away. After liberally applying the borax to him, then cutting off his head, Bobby is able to put him down.

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Don't worry - Saul Tigh is on the case!

Bobby has made his borax discovery just in the nick of time, because the real Sam and Dean have been arrested and leviathan Sam and Dean are coming to kill them in the police station. Where, of course, Saul Tigh is working as sheriff. Dean gets his one phone call, Bobby gives him the infodump, and Saul sees some brain eating which inspires him to release Dean and help out with some handy cleaning fluid before things get really messy.

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Dean manages to borax Leviathan Dean before Sam is killed, but not before Leviathan Dean tells Sam about the Amy murder. I am guessing that sentences like that are why this episode was called Slash Fiction, but I have no idea. Anyway, Sam now knows what's been bugging Dean — and is really, really pissed.

Oh and just in case you were worried about the whole "Sam and Dean are wanted men" thing — Saul lies and tells the Feds that he's shot Sam and Dean. So the Feds erase Sam and Dean from their records, and then turn into leviathans and kill Saul. Well, that was a tidy plot ender.

Of course the leader of the leviathans is a rich capitalist named Dick

And here's the very best scene in the episode, when we at last meet the leader of the leviathans, a wealthy businessman named Dick who talks in entrepreneurial cliches and tells his minions to "call back with a win." Crowley tries to get Dick to work with him, even going so far as to bring him muffins made out of dead babies. But Dick tells him that demons are lazy scum. So yay — Crowley is still going to be on the Winchester's side, but only because he couldn't get some Dick for himself.

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And now it's time to process our feelings

Finally, Sam confronts Dean about killing his childhood girlfriend Amy. Sam is so angry that he doesn't want share the fun of throwing Leviathan Sam and Dean's heads into the water. In fact, he doesn't even want to talk to Dean. He grabs his bags and just walks away. And Dean looks sad and pouty. Sadly, there's no slash fiction here, unless they're about to have mad makeup sex offscreen.

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Once again, Sam and Dean have parted ways over some dick thing Dean has done. Haven't we seen this before? I'm not sure I want to go through another breakup and makeup again. I just want more Dick.

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