Who am I? Where am I? Is it... an actually compelling ‘A’ plot on this week’s Blindspot?

Spoilers for Blindspot episode 4, “Bone May Rot,” and since a commenter pointed out that all the titles are anagrams, let’s revisit ‘em:

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Woe Has Joined -> Who Is Jane Doe
A Stray Howl -> Taylor Shaw
Three Slim Grins -> The Missing Girl
Bone May Rot -> Or Maybe Not

Holy crap, you guys. This week’s tattoo mystery didn’t suck! Sure, it was over the top and mostly implausible, but compared to blowing up the Statue of Liberty and murder drones from the sky, rogue CDC scientists felt like a thing that could occur in a world of mind-wiping drugs and mysteriously tattooed black ops lady Navy Seals.

Patterson figures out this week’s tattoo clue with an assist from her adorable nerd boyfriend, and, yeah, that’s not going to end in his bullet-riddled body or evil betrayal of our fave lab tech. Since Jane’s tattoos are supposed to be top-secret, this is a big no-no, but it kicks the plot off, sending the FBI team to investigate the Center for Disease Control.

“Hi! I’m Doomed. I mean, David. I’m David.”

Ultra-violet light at the CDC reveals that Jane has even more tattoos—numbers on her cheeks and forehead—and they correspond with lab specimens of incredibly dangerous diseases. When the specimens are checked, whoops, vials are missing of fun stuff like ebola, SARS, MERS and typhoid.

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Then someone locks down the CDC, so Jane and Kurt have a heart-to-heart about his past while wearing hazmat suits. Kurt explains that childhood pal Taylor Shaw—whose DNA Jane was confirmed to have last week—vanished under his watch when they were kids. He was 10, which is young even by Baby-sitters Club standards, but still blamed himself. He tells Jane his dad was the only suspect in her disappearance. Awkward! Jane has a flashback to a little girl getting out of bed to leave the house with a man at night. It seems as though the girl knew the man, so that mystery’s plot thickens.

“I’m glad we had this talk, Kurt. I really love these scenes where I am fully clothed.”

It turns out one of the CDC directors stole the vials and has her own lab where she’s worked on weaponizing their contents. The team tracks her past movements and figures out that she traveled all over the world and left mass outbreaks of disease in her wake, effectively becoming a modernized and purposeful Typhoid Mary. But why??? That takes a little longer to unravel because she soon shoots her husband and herself rather than be caught... after setting up a device to go off in the ferry terminal and start a deadly outbreak. Cue the race-against-time music!

The FBI team gets first crack at taking down this massive biohazard, and since everyone else is stuck in traffic (actually plausible for New York City) they have to contain the deadly suitcase device when they find it. This results in a silly yet fun scene where everyone pitches in to “MacGyver” a containment tent from supplies helpfully left lying around by a painting crew. While I’m not 100% sure a plastic tarp and some duct tape would work to seal in a highly weaponized deadly virus, eh, let’s give it to them. It was nice to see the team work together.

“Don’t bring me into this.”

Later, just when we thought we were safe, it’s revealed that the second CDC scientist director was also in on the plot and—dum dum DUM!—he’s right there next to Kurt. He and his partner in crime were trying to wipe out thousands of people to effectively release the pressure gauge of the Earth, because we’re not meant to keep so many people alive or something. Whatever, Dr. Crazy. This leads to possibly the most improbable moment in the whole episode, wherein the FBI agent gets his ass kicked by the Center for Disease Control guy. But don’t worry, New Yorkers and cruise boat lovers! Jane swoops in to save the day, and she’s even wearing clothes!

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It seems like the mystery many of us were surprised and pleased was resolved so quickly last week was full of lies. Patterson tested Jane’s tooth and learned that Jane was born in sub-Saharan Africa. The tooth fairy is always right, so how can Jane be Taylor Shaw, who was born in America? And if she’s not Taylor, how did she have that flashback? More importantly, will she ever flash back again to the now-dead Mystery Beard, a.k.a. Ruggedly Handsome Man, a.k.a. my TV boyfriend?

Forever in our hearts.

This episode was a step up overall and gave us some of the character development we’ve been craving. Hopefully there’s space for everyone to be fleshed out and less like cardboard cut-outs. Command Lady Mayfair is still hiding her past ops, which have something to do with Jane, but she turns down the CIA’s scary offer to interrogate Jane. Patterson has a cute boyfriend who is totally not going to die horribly and/or betray her. Agent Zapata has a gambling problem that is going to become a problem for everyone. Agent Reade doesn’t have a problem with Jane anymore, except in that Kurt can’t handle himself when she’s around.

Could Jane be Kurt’s... blindspot? I’ll see myself out.