This week's Archer is all about lust... with a bit of secret agent-y stuff thrown in, as well as a zillion tranquilizer darts, some unseemly Tunt family history, a very hungry plant, and some of this seasons' best rapid-fire one-liners. Spoilers follow!
"Pocket Listing" begins by tossing a bone to all us Malory fans, whose usual lip-curling contempt is on full display ("From now on, nothing pickled in the office fridge!") before she hands the floor to Mr. Slater ("Just Slater, for the infinity-eth time!") The 1990s teen rebel-turned-CIA operative has an assignment for the gang, and it's a juicy one, gathering intel on the young Crown Prince of "Durhan," in town for his summer internship on Wall Street ("Ugh... affirmative action," Malory mutters with disdain). The US is friendly with the fictional Middle East country, but that doesn't mean the CIA doesn't need some hardcore intel on the world's richest prince, including scans of both his retinas. Why? Well, this is "Operation Because I Said So," and that's all snarky Slater's gonna give up.
Anyway, the prince requires suitably luxurious accommodations, and one of the properties he's considering is... Tunt Manor! "That's my house!" Cheryl squeals, and her shrieks get louder when Slater reveals she'll be posing as the listing agent. Dossiers are distributed; of course Archer's reaction is "Well, just in case I don't read this [tosses folder on the floor], what are the rest of us gonna be doing?" We learn the prince's extremely hot-cha-cha royal mother will be accompanying him on the house search, which gets Archer's attention (Lana: "Seriously? I just heard you get hard!"), and that the crew will be either be undercover as household servants or lurking behind the scenes.
In Krieger's case, this mostly means being repeatedly zapped with Slater's short-term memory-erasing tranquilizer gun in the surveillance control room. Archer and Cyril are dressed like Downton Abbey valets, while Pam and Lana are in sexy French maid outfits, a la Clue. Pam thinks their outfits are awesome, but Lana's just about had it with Slater's schemes: "Why are your plans always so complicated? You're like Wile E. Coyote with access to Predator drones." (Archer makes a Wile E. Coyote reference later, too, saying the plan has "everything but a sign for free birdseed.")
Meanwhile, Cyril is all too happy to (sarcastically) explain the reason behind Operation Because I Said So to Ray, who wonders why the CIA needs dirt on a friendly country:
"Well, Ray, there were these things called dinosaurs. When they died, they turned into oil somehow. And that's what your car uses for food."
Slater's plan may be intricate (it also involves Ray, dressed as a commando, dosing the prince's security team with powerful laxatives in gas form), but for a gang of secret agents, these guys are pretty shitty at acting discreet. Granted, Cheryl's not really a spy, so she can be forgiven for giving her fake real-estate name as "Escrow. And trust me, I've heard all the jokes!" But shouldn't Archer be able to come up with a better butler name than... Butler? And maybe a better fake accent?
For whatever reason, neither the royal mother-son duo nor their heavily armed guards notice something is awfully fishy about Tunt Manor, so it would seem the mission would be an easy-peasy operation. But! Not so fast. Archer, who's highly interested in sleeping with the queen (who slaps just about everyone at least once over the course of the episode; Cheryl loves it), admits to Pam, who might just be his best friend, that he's kinda hoping to make Lana jealous. Which, of course, works; once she catches wind of his scheme, she announces "Spoiler alert! I don't give a shit who Archer bangs!" before making up her mind to preemptively get revenge by seducing the youthful prince.
Spycraft soon devolves into sex-capades, as Lana and Archer set about making their respective moves before realizing what they really want is each other (but not before Archer calls her "Lana Cougar Mellencamp"). And they get it on... FINALLY!! What's more, the mission ends up turning out okay (except for poor Ray, who loses a hand battling a particularly bloodthirsty carnivorous plant), though who knows how many knockout darts were deployed in the process.
But then the mission's not really what we were here for in the first place, was it. The big question is, where are Lana and Archer gonna go from here?
Favorite moments/lines/revelations (SO MANY this week, I am probably missing about 10 or 12):
- Slater calling Krieger "chin strap"
- Ray says he's writing a spec script for Masterpiece Theater which might involve anal sex and is, actually, "technically fanfic"
- Archer has slept with a baroness, a marquess, a vicomtesse, two princess sisters, and a duchess (not his mom's dog Duchess, though)... but never a queen
- Tunt Manor contains 22 full and 1-and-a-half bathrooms (with cucumber water bidets!)
- Babou reference! No sighting though.
- "Thanks Al." "Al?" "Jazeera!"
- "She didn't look like a Back Dorothy!"
- "Okay, Gollum, you have won the game of riddles. The gold ring is yours!"
- "DAMN, GINA!"
Image via The Work Print.