We've always trumpeted local news as the most exciting news, and this report only validates our claims further. A ninja in Pittsburgh enacted shinobi vengeance against some hapless parked cars last Sunday, and local news was asking the hard questions.


According to an eyewitness, Sunday's ninja was likely a drunk ninja, which (as we all know) is the deadliest kind of ninja:

Evidence that was left behind included blood on the cars, tools that were used to damage the vehicles and, "like, a fifth of liquor. He dropped it when he fell over the fence," [Pittsburgh resident Chelsey] Cunningham said.


As the anchor notes, Sunday's automobile assault was part of an upswing in ninja-related crime in Pittsburgh. And if you need more proof that Rust Belt evildoing is on the rise, know that Spider-Man was shot in Columbus, Ohio that very same day.

UPDATE: Not all ninjas out there are bad. Today the BBC reports that a ninja is protecting the county Kent spa town of Tunbridge Wells:

Places under official "Ninja Watch" are said to include Homebase, the Bedford Pub, and the Royal Victoria Place shopping centre.

And the Neighbourhood Ninja even claims to be keeping an eye on this week's royal wedding.

In one tweet, he wrote: "Don't worry Chief Inspector of Kent Police, you have nothing to fear from me, I am on your side. I'll leave my nunchuks at home."

He has also said he is "bringing the community together" and could even be looking to recruit more ninjas.

[Via WTAE. Thanks, Zed and Tubbygaijin!]

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