Star Wars statistics, admittedly, can be kind of boring—that is, unless they’re so batshit that you wonder what the hell is even happening. According to this latest gem of a survey, not only is Jar Jar Binks more popular than Kylo Ren but apparently, people prefer a giant slug monster over literally every character in the new franchise. What’s wrong with you people?
Morning Consult has released the results of a survey where 2,200 people were asked how much they liked different characters in the Star Wars universe. It’s nice to see Princess Leia was the most-beloved character, with 73 percent of people having a “favorable” impression of her. But the rest of it, let’s be honest, doesn’t make any goddamn sense.
How the hell is Jabba the Hutt, a slithering turd, more beloved than Rey? Why on earth would anyone like human weasel Anakin Skywalker, let alone more than Darth Vader, his far superior alter-ego? And, perhaps worst of all, why isn’t Poe on this list? Is it because the survey was so afraid he’d throw off the curve with how amazing and loved and beautiful he is?
The rest of the survey is no better. I don’t get how it happened. Apparently people like Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope a little more than Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, which is fine I guess, but far less of the responders had actually bothered to watch Episode IV. How can they prefer a movie they haven’t seen? Wait, hold up survey, let me check something. How many people in the survey have actually seen these movies?
According to this survey, the most-watched Star Wars movie still only had less than half of people saying they bothered watching. Of course, that doesn’t mean over half of responders have never seen a Star Wars movie, but it does indicate that a bunch of them haven’t so their opinions are seemingly based on what they’ve gleaned from the characters’ general pop culture presence. After all, how many would start and stop with just one Star Wars film? This survey is weird and dumb. Math, do better.