New "footage" of Bigfoot emerges

Illustration for article titled New "footage" of Bigfoot emerges

After five years of research, a group calling itself the Sasquatch Genome Project has released footage of what it says is a female Bigfoot sleeping in the woods. And yes, this is the same group that published the Bigfoot genome in a journal they themselves founded.


While holding a press conference yesterday in Dallas, the researchers presented some of their key findings, including a "never before seen HD video" of Sasquatch moving about and sleeping in a wooded area in Kentucky. They claim to have spent more than $500,000 on the extensive five-year study, which was funded by businessman Adrian Erickson.

Here's the video of "a reddish brown Sasquatch juvenile" sleeping in the woods after being tracked with her mother, along with other footage.

Wow, for $500,000 you figure they could've come up with better fake footage than that!

Here's a still of the Sasquatch's face:

Illustration for article titled New "footage" of Bigfoot emerges

Uh, Chewbacca? Is that you?

And here's a must-watch news report about how the press conference went down, via ABC's News 8:

Helluva turnout they had there.

Among the researchers was Dr. Melba Ketchum, a veterinarian who presented various blood and hair samples that purportedly belongs to Bigfoot.


CBS 11 News reports:

Erikson says he has had numerous encounters with Sasquatch creatures–and says he has the images and science to back their existence. But he says he also understands the stigma and disbelief that comes with BigFoot.

“People have chosen not to believe it. They can’t find it in their minds to think these things exist.”

So the group of researchers and scientists set out to track what they call the furry people.

The group says it followed a mother and daughter in Kentucky collecting thermal imagery, daytime and nighttime video, along with, photos of massive hand and footprints.

The group says there are thousands of these creatures in the United States including right here in North Texas.

But the strongest evidence the group says its has is DNA evidence. They say it is like nothing that has been seen before in mammals or humans.



All images via Sasquatch Genome Project.



What is interesting is that the ubiquitous presence of HD cameras, cameras that come lock stock and barrel with people's phones, have had an extremely detrimental effect on the believability of this stuff. Back in the 70's when all you had was Super 8 camera, grainy footage of a guy in a monkey suit was sufficient to project your suspension of disbelief on. Now you can't do that. Now anytime the footage is crappy it screams hoax because we all know that there is no reason why it has to look like shit other than as a way to fool us.

Cryptids and UFOs and other assorted paranormal fuckery: I loved you all. But you are no longer able to find a place to thrive in the density of all those megapixels.

Still, you will always inhabit a very blurry part of my heart.