New Batman Roller Coaster Is Clearly The Joker's Diabolical Vomit Trap

Six Flags theme parks have had plenty of Batman coasters, but the new one opening in San Antonio, Texas, in summer of 2015 claims to be "4D." More importantly, as this promotional video for the ride clearly indicates, this thing is obviously one of the Joker's nefarious plans, designed to induce mass vomiting.


Ignoring the "4D" moniker entirely — I mean, technically the riders are moving through time, although how this makes the Batman roller coaster more 4D than any other roller coast is unknown — the fact that the cars themselves spin the entire ride is just evil. I was down with the beyond-90-degree drops — that somehow seems oddly Batman-appropriate — but this is a vomit machine, pure and simple. And how could you enjoy the ride when you're spinning too fast to figure out to what you're experiencing?

Besides, I'm reasonably confident the cars actually have little rockets on them, and that the Joker and Harley Quinn will launch them during the coaster's inaugural ride, probably loaded with tiny nukes, and targeted at major world capitals. Between that and the spinning, yeah, I think I'll pass.


[Via Geeks Are Sexy]

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Ah 6 Flags Texas Batman rides. I remember fondly the days of going to see that great new one with George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger and the new ride opening up at AstroWorld. Sure the lines were really really realoy long but at least you got the ambiance on being at a Penguin crime scene.

Maybe it is 4D like there are 4D movies. They spritz some water on you so you feel like Joker really spit on you!