MTV Does Rocky Horror? No. No!

Illustration for article titled MTV Does Rocky Horror? No. No!

With the civilized world's eyes turned to Comic-Con, there was nobody alert enough to protest the news about scifi sex extravaganza Rocky Horror Picture Show yesterday. Yes, it's being remade. I know that already sounds hurty, but it gets worse: MTV is remaking it. The very same MTV that brings you movies like Aeon Flux. This remake, which will possibly open as early as Halloween next year, will be based on the original script but include new songs. But the fact is that Rocky Horror Picture Show doesn't need to be remade — it's already its own remake. The movie remakes and respawns itself week after week as new generations of teenagers discover it at local rep houses and learn that freaks are everywhere (and they can be freaks too). How can you remake something that has already been remade thousands of times over by its audiences? And by theater troupes who reenact it? Plus, there's simply no way that the 1970s sexytime tale of a "sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania" could ever be told or retold in an era of safe sex and gay marriage. These days, Frank N Furter would just get married to Rocky, settle down, and move to the suburbs. The characters we love in Rocky Horror, and that audiences talk back to in cities across the world, cannot be "updated." And they cannot ever be remade in a way more pleasing than we can remake them ourselves, in our local theaters, wearing silly makeup and carrying umbrellas. MTV Readies Rocky Horror Redux [Variety]



It's astounding, time is fleeting

Recycling takes its toll

But listen closely, not for very much longer

We've got to make money

I remember watching the Horror

Drinking those moments when

The vileness would hit me and the void would be calling

Let's do the Horror again...

Let's do the Horror again!

It's just a kick to the mind

And then a stomp to the balls

With your hands on your hips

You bring your ass in tight

But it's the "reimagining" that really drives you insane,

Let's do the Horror again!

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me

So you can't see me, no not at all

In another dimension, with craptastic intention

Well-deluded, I see all

Just a bit of a mind fuck

Another cluster fuck

And nothing can ever be the same

You're numbed by the incomprehention, like you're under sedation

Let's do the Horror again!

Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think

When a crossdressed guy gave me an evil bonk

He beat me up, he took me by surprise

He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.

He drove at me and I felt the pain

Time meant nothing, never would again

Let's watch the Horror again!