Sometimes a movie premise is so absurd that the plot must've been hastily cobbled together after reading a sensational headline. With this in mind, we asked ourselves: Just how hard can it be to come up with the plot to a scifi sequel? We scanned some recent real-life science headlines for inspiration and drummed up a few sequel contenders.


Headline: "Stardust Evidence Points to Planet Collision" Movie Title: Armageddon II: Are you Gettin' It? Director: Michael Bay The Set-Up: For reasons that defy logic, Venus has jumped its orbit and is headed towards Earth. Back at the farm, scientists determine that they must detonate the rogue planet before it obliterates the motherland. So NASA turns to a grizzled, retired explosives expert (the best in the world, natch) for an assist. One catch: They must first find a way to pry him away from The Bottle and rekindle the curmudgeon's will to live. Perhaps a visit from his saintly kindergarten-teacher ex-wife will do the trick?

Headline: "U.K. experts say Stonehenge a place of healing" Movie Title: How to Get to 11—The Nigel Tufnel Chronicles, Vol. 1 Director: Akiva Schaffer The Set-Up: It's 1973. Having recorded five albums with his band Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel is in a creative funk. Seeking spiritual inspiration, he makes a pilgrimage to Stonehenge, "where a man's a man and the children dance to the Pipes of Pan."* He soon lands in a hospital after contracting a VD from this chance encounter with a Tap groupie who happened to be part of his tour group. (Hey, she looked clean.) And it is there, hopped up on antibiotics and whatnot, that Tufnel starts writing Spinal Tap's no-so-seminal album 1974's Intravenous de Milo. *Note: The track "Stonehenge" ended up appearing on the band's 1975 release, The Sun Never Sweats.


Headline: "Scientists demonstrate how to make a hidden portal" Title: The Being John Malkovich Prequel (working title) Director: John Grisham, in his directorial debut The Set-Up: Before the employees of LesterCorp got wind of the portal, an oblivious John Malkovich was making troubling career decisions, like starring in Mary Reilly or Con Air or The Man in the Iron Mask. You see, for a brief period of time, his consciousness was inhabited by a schizophrenic. Trapped in the eccentric actor's consciousness by a mad scientist, the mental patient is ruled missing until a perseverant psychiatrist tracks him. A lost cause? Hardly. Ignoring her skeptical colleagues, she embarks on an interdimensional adventure to liberate her fragile patient from the mind of Malkovich, all the while giving him hope with her tough-love maternal instincts.

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