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More Proof That Aliens Want Our Beef

Illustration for article titled More Proof That Aliens Want Our Beef

Friday, we showed you incontrovertible proof that a UFO abducted a poor, defenseless cow. Still not convinced? Well, UFOlogists have analyzed the photos, and they're seeing hooves.

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UFO blog Inexplicata has followed up on last week's report that a cow was spotted flying above Rosario, Argentina, until it was swallowed up by a flying saucer. The photo witnesses captured was a bit on the blurry side:

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Illustration for article titled More Proof That Aliens Want Our Beef

So Silvia Pérez Simondini and the UFO researchers at Visión Ovni have taken it upon themselves to analyze the photos further:

THE BOVINE
1) Objects shown in the images do not display digital manipulation in the adjoining pixels.
2) There is a correspondence between brilliance and angle regarding the light source (the sun)
3) In non-destructive super-resolution processes applied to the image, the animal turned out to be a bovine with its right side toward the camera, its head hanging to the left.
4) It can be deduced that the animal photographed in the air was either lifeless or in a deep stupor, judging from its observed condition.
5) We have managed to see its hooves, tail and head.
6) The 3d analysis is self-evident.

Illustration for article titled More Proof That Aliens Want Our Beef

THE OBJECT:
1) In the opinion of this analyst, it had a diameter of between 8 to 10 meters and perhaps some 2.40 to 3 meters tall.
2) Some sort of beam was captured by the camera, and we perhaps cannot appreciate it in its entirety due to some sort of camouflage, subsequently corroborate by the account.
3) Applying filters, we can see that the UFO emitted perhaps high-ionization heat in its upper and lower sections.
4) Volumetric analysis shows that it was a disk-shaped object whose brilliance corresponded to that of the sun.
5) It is surrounded by some sort of triangular element and another circular one, or otherwise, plasma that the camera did not record in another shape.
6) I highlight that the resolution of the images generates a lot of noise in the captures and implies a greater processing time.
7) Insects were present in the photo shoot, but not in these 4 main ones.

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Illustration for article titled More Proof That Aliens Want Our Beef

There you have it. There's no sense in denying it any longer. Time to go home and lock up the cattle.

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Argentina: Cow Abducted by UFO - An Analysis [Inexplicata]

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DISCUSSION

warpped655-old
warpped655

This produces more questions then it answers.

If the photo is authentic:

-A experimental aircraft?

This for once seems like a stretch, based on the location and and the fact that there is a friggin' COW in tow. Why on earth would they test a experimental aircraft by tractor beaming a cow? If this were the case I wouldn't be surprised if whatever organization that did this is purposely fucking with us.

-A space/air craft of alien origin?

If they are a highly advanced, and trying to be stealthy, Its unlikely that this would have been seen. We wouldn't have seen it. or would we? maybe a partial malfunction of its stealth system or something? If they are being stealthy, does that indicate malevolence towards us or the planet? Or that we are being studied, and to avoid ruining their experiment, don't show themselves?

Last but not least, WHY COWS?