Ladies! Do you find yourself exposing your bosoms for pretty much anybody you have a small amount of affection for? Then do I have good news for you! Japanese lingerie maker Ravijour has developed a bra whose clasp will only open when its wearer is experiencing true love.
How does it do this, you ask? Through a built-in heart rate monitor and a special phone app (also possibly magic and/or bullshit). In case you're worried about your phone wirelessly unhooking your bra every time you go for a jog, don't you worry — according to the wonderful instructional video above:
When excited, the adrenal medulla secretes catechlomine, which affects the automatic nerve, and stimulates the heart rate. A built-in sensor reads the woman's heart-rate signal and sends it to a special app via Bluetooth for analysis. the app then calculates the True Love Rate based on changes in the heart rate over time. When the True Love Rate exceeds a certain value, the bra hook is opened automatically.
Well, there's absolutely nothing to argue with there! I mean, sure, even if the bra was smart enough to distinguish between your heart rate rising due to romantic versus physical causes, I guess you'd run the risk of the bra flying open during dinner if you happened to be eating with your true love, and I have no idea how a woman could take the bra off without the help of their soulmate, but isn't that a small price to pay to keep your breasts locked away from those who might not appreciate them fully?
No longer will women have to worry about standing shirtless around scuzzy men who are forcibly trying to tear your bra off; nor do you have to worry you might let someone you don't truly love get to second base (you little tramp). This bra is here to protect you from them and yourself!
It's like a fairy tale where only a kiss from your true love can awaken you! And by "you" I of course mean "your tits."