That’s the question the last eleven episodes have left me with. Because these are the unluckiest people in the galaxy. Some things are their fault, yes, but a lot of the time, shit just seems to happen.

So, first off, we have to resolve last week’s little drama with the other crew of criminals. Who are, it turns out, cartoons. Think of something a cartoon villain would do, and they do it. Threats. Torture. Threatening rape. Threatening to kill children. They are literal cartoons, which makes the fact that they all end up dead less interesting than sort of obvious.

Meanwhile, of course whatever saved Two from that virus and healed her cut also keeps her from dying in the cold of space. She makes it back onto the ship in time to kick the ass of every single soldier on it. And she sends Five to safety. I really wish she didn’t go back on her word and space Wexler when she said she wouldn’t, or this would have been a banner outing for her.

Plus, it means that One’s whole “Oh, so we don’t trust her because she’s not who we thought? Welcome to the club!” speech didn’t really leave me in agreement so much as “Well, she did just prove she’s not that different from Wexler the Evil, No Good, Bad Guy, so...”

The episode ends with the crew delivering the device they stole last week, which immediately causes a planet to explode. Maybe the crew of the Raza should just find a nice, empty patch of space to sit in. And not touch anything. Ever.


The Raza is why we can’t have nice things. Like planets to live on safely.

Like last week, the plot was nicely contained and paced, if not particularly new. What we did get this week was a good mix of action, comedy, and development. I was a particular fan of Five, who proved to be invaluable at all times. She hid a knife which cut them free. She knew how to fix the ship. She even shot someone about to kill Two, which should get her some kudos from this crew. I kind of hope she doesn’t angst over it, she did what she had to do. I actually like that Six is more upset by Five growing into one of them than she is. It’s a nice dynamic.


As for Two, we learn that, while organic, each of her constituent parts were grown and put together to form an optimum human. And she has nanites running through her system, which is what keeps her alive when anyone else would be dead. I’m betting we meet her creators soon.

The best part of the episode, by far, was One. I KNOW. I am surprised, too. From the start, Wexler beats the shit out of him. Which was personally fun for me. And we find out the real Corso has a stash of money somewhere that he gets drunk and tells people about. I hope he’s been doing this a lot and everyone keeps trying to kidnap One and ask him about it. His pain is my joy.

But, outside of my sadistic (yes, this said “masochistic before.” Yes, I am an idiot,) hatred of One, he was also hilarious in this episode. On purpose. One, Three, Five, and Six spend most of this episode trapped a storage compartment with a finite amount of air, waiting to be turned over for a bounty. Also, slowly losing touch with reality due to oxygen deprivation. One gives a speech about how they should make a stand! And fight! Because Two died! And other reasons!


I loved this speech. It was actually a nice slow burn. At first it just sounded like the typical “rah, team” BS we’d expect from One. But it’s intercut with Two kicking ass and being demonstrably not dead, which undercuts the words. And then One starts losing the plot. The speech gets weird and confusing, and that’s when I realized it wasn’t just me reacting to One the way I normally do: he’s actually completely out of it from the oxygen deprivation. All of which is nicely punctuated by Three yelling, “Damn straight!” and immediately having to sit back down.

Plus, the best shot of the whole episode is what these idiots looked like when Five opened to door:


I want this on a t-shirt.

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