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I'm going to give those honors to the Polar Express-esque, all-CG, tiny fairy godmothers who flit around to give Princess Aurora her birthdays gifts. I'm going to assume their fairy kingdom is located directly in the uncanny valley, because... eesh.


Also: It's been a looooong time since I last saw Disney's Sleeping Beauty, but what's the business with Maleficent wanting to keep Aurora from the "evil in this world"? Is she not a bad guy in this movie? Are they turning Disney's greatest villain into a misunderstood goth girl with amazing headwear? Apparently so, if Google's synopsis can be believed; I've highlighted the sad parts:

The untold story of Disney's most iconic villain from the 1959 classic "Sleeping Beauty." A beautiful, pure-hearted young woman with stunning black wings, Maleficent has an idyllic life growing up in a peaceable forest kingdom, until one day when an invading army of humans threatens the harmony of the land. Maleficent rises to be the land's fiercest protector, but she ultimately suffers a ruthless betrayal - an act that begins to turn her pure heart to stone. Bent on revenge, Maleficent faces an epic battle with the king of the humans and, as a result, places a curse upon his newborn infant Aurora. As the child grows, Maleficent realizes that Aurora holds the key to peace in the kingdom - and to Maleficent's true happiness as well.


Whaaaaaaaaa?! Maleficent is fighting for peace and happiness? No thank you. Next you're going to tell me Disney's making a movie titled Cruella, about a sad, desperate woman who's trying to save her family's failing fashion boutique.

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