The tale of the missing succubus drags on, Tamsin returns (sort of), and Dyson and Hale are on the case in this week's Lost Girl. It seems there's some double-crossery in the future, and surprise surprise, Vex is involved.

We now know exactly where Bo is, even if the rest of the gang doesn't – she awakens on an old timey train flying through dimensions. The train attendant (whom Bo suck-ubusses) is very concerned about disturbing a mysterious "him." Bo apparently needs her life essence to kick open the train's door and leap into the darkness. Which is ironic because Dyson spends the entire episode trying to get on the train to rescue her.


Back on Canada-Earth (an alien planet where roadside diners still have functional pay phones), Dyson finds a feral girl at the site of his truck crash with Tamsin. Luckily they don't drag out the mystery of the girl – wolfie puts it together immediately that it's Tamsin reincarnated, a common thing with Valkyries. Sadly they do drag out interminable scenes of Kenzi dealing with the bratty girl, which was faintly amusing at best. Tween Tamsin quickly becomes teen Tamsin, leading to some uncomfortable jailbait humor with Hale. Definitely can't wait to get real Tamsin back.

Does it seem like this recap is bouncing all over the place? I think it's because the episode was kind of a mess too. No real cohesive plot, just a bunch of situations loosely connected. So, what's up next? How about Vex being tortured by the Una Mens? Kind of a cool scene, him all trussed and scarred. The Una Mens' "we are unfamiliar with your human customs" routine could get old really quickly, but it could also be really creepy if played right. The name "Una Mens" will never stop sounding silly.

Vex trades his life (I think? They tried to put a mask on him and he seemed really afraid of that) for Bo, offering "the unaligned succubus" to the Una Mens instead of info on the Morrigan's location. Later we see Vex stealing what I think was an old Chrysler Imperial (hard to tell from two quick shots) and making a deal with Clio the nymph.


Who's Clio the nymph? She was around briefly last episode at George Takei's snake party (and she's played by Mia Kirshner, whom you may recognize as the owner of the brothel in SyFy's Defiance). This time she shows up at the hair salon Dyson and Hale head to in their search for Endemian the tracker, thinking his ex-wife Selene might know where he is. Clio instead sends them to talk to Astrid with a note in Hindi (apparently Hale knows Hindi). Normally at this point I'd write about the mythological backstory surrounding Endemian and what kind of fae creature Astrid is, but Lost Girl doesn't seem to care about that stuff anymore. They just rattle off some gibberish that sounds vaguely magical, and they never bother about the real-world mythology anyhow, so screw it. I instead spent that time trying to figure out what year Chrysler Vex was stealing.

Astrid gives Hale a dollop of love potion on his forehead and says some stuff about "finding the courage to hunt." She gives Dyson a kiss in a bottle. They head off in search of "Eddy" (Endemian) while Hale lives out the Monty Python's Holy Grail Castle Anthrax fantasy with a bunch of eager fae ladies, who thankfully put away their claws. The scene gives us the episode's best dialog:

"So in this fantasy of yours, were all the girls carrying pokey thing?"

"No, there was just one pokey thing."


Dyson tracks Eddy to Selene's abode, where he finds a painting of a nude Selene. Behind is a cleverly locked door which Dyson tears open. It seems Selene has kept Eddy asleep and under her control for hundreds of years. I'm not sure they even try to explain the mechanism of all this – there was something about a kiss and then another kiss? So Dyson gives her the fake kiss, then turns her face toward sleeping Eddy and says, "Now kiss him." Ah, a trace of the old Lost Girl, where things would get sexually transgressive now and then!

But this scene was also really weird – although Selene is a baddy, she never really threatens Dyson with any kind of violence (just enthusiastic rough sex). So when he puts his hand around her throat, it felt like a step over the line. When Eddy woke up, called her a harlot, then elbow smashed her face, knocking her out, that felt way over the line. Wife beating played for laughs, I guess.


Back at chateau Bo, Hale decides to have his little talk with Kenzi about his true feelings for her. Within seconds they're grinding each other on the kitchen table. Hale realizes it's just the potion Astrid gave him, but he seems like he's just going to roll with it until teen Tamsin interrupts. Kenzi-Hale shippers must feel like Hale did as he fled the apartment – that scene was such a tease for them.

To track Bo, Eddy needs Dyson to describe her. To really describe her. He finally does, saying she has a beautiful heart that breaks whenever one of her friends is hurt. And that's the closest Lost Girl has come to explaining why everyone loves Bo so much – because it's a two-way street. She loves each of them just as much, and goes to ridiculous lengths to help them. I'll buy it.


Then it turns out Eddy is crappy tracker because he can't read the words on the magic fae vending machine. Clio the nymph shows up and explains she's been taking Eddy's tracking gigs while he was asleep. She's an elemental who can control all four elements. Neat! They use the Wanderer tarot card to board the death train…the one Bo jumped out of. And thus we get the perfect metaphor for the first few episodes of this season: waiting for a train.


I can't forget about yet another side plot, Lauren's refuge at the diner as a clumsy girl named Amber with a seriously terrible wig. Now I get that Lauren is intentionally making herself look plain because she's a fugitive, but yikes. Badly done bangs aside, Lauren's boss (who does look pretty cute in that flouncy skirt) sexually harasses her like crazy, calling her sexy and asking her to stay for a drink. When Lauren refuses, she acts all pissy and even makes Lauren apologize.


Lauren saves a random fae (again, not even bothering to work out what they based him on) from choking while blonde boss lady takes a cell phone video. They eventually bond over shots and deleting the video, but the resulting hug seemed pretty platonic – not where boss lady was hoping it would end up.

I want to finish up on a high note by pointing out the episode's title: "Sleeping Beauty School." It's not notable by itself, but it means that finally, no more "fae" puns for episode titles. Rejoice!


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