There's nothing like a really great chase scene in a science fiction movie. Think of the awesomeness of watching people stalked by velociraptors, angry Cylons, and acid-secreting aliens. Then there's this scene. Where our characters are chased by - COLD!


This bit from Roland Emmerich's environmental disaster movie The Day After Tomorrow will probably go down in history as the most scientifically preposterous and fuckwitted scene in science fiction. Which is kind of an honor, when you think about it. Basically the premise is that our naughty climate-changing ways have caused the Earth to come down with a major case of mega-hurricanes. These hurricanes are SO BIG that they actually suck frozen air down from OUTER SPACE - or something dumb like that - and cause the areas around them to become incredibly cold. Soooo cold that people freeze in their tracks and die and stuff. And the hurricanes are all over the United States so all these North American refugees are streaming into Mexico, which shuts its borders and there's a Total Lesson To Be Learned.

Yes, it's basically one of those liberal scifi fantasies that make you yearn for the days of Mike Dukakis, when liberal was a dirty word.


But the best part of the whole thing is when Donnie Darko protects everybody from the cold by hiding in a room in New York City library where there is a giant fire and they can burn a bunch of books to keep warm. Even though technically it's gotten so cold outside that oxygen would be frozen. And then the coldest part of the storm, which is the eye, hits the city right when Donnie Darko is outside getting medicine or something for his whiny girlfriend.

The cold literally CHASES DONNIE DOWN THE HALLS of the library. That's how cold works, doncha know. It follows you down the hall. And if you shut the door, you can keep it out with the help of a bunch of burned library books! Have you learned something today? Because I've learned something. We should never change the climate, and we should be nicer to Mexicans so they let us into their country when the US and Canada are chased down by angry swathes of atmospheric temperature.

One thing I will say - this is better than being chased by Roland Emmerich's Godzilla. Don't even get me started on that one. I will be here all night screaming.

The Day After Tomorrow via IMDB


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