In times both ancient and modern, people have created statues and icons of religious figures, and genuflected before them to worship the divinities that they represent. Now that the iconic and bare-chested Sexy Jeff Goldblum has been immortalized with a giant statue in London, why not worship it?
Now TV, a streaming TV service and broadband provider in the United Kingdom, commissioned the statue, which is currently lounging comfortably near the Tower Bridge. It was made to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the original Jurassic Park movie—and, well, to get attention for Now TV, of course, which it is most certainly doing.
But why stop there? I say we go ahead and start a religion based around it, and worship it much as the ancient Greeks worshipped the giant, 43-foot-tall statue of Zeus in Olympia, which was one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. I’m not saying we sacrifice white bulls to it—although I’m not not saying that—but I find the idea of a divine, omnipotent, and highly sexy Jeff Goldblum looking down on us all from afar weirdly comforting.
Alas, we only have until April 26 to get to London and ask the Divine, Shirtless Goldblum for his blessing and strength to carry on in these troubled times.
Update: He gives it 10 out of 10 Goldblums.