This "giant isopod realistic plush doll" from Japan can fulfill all your needs for adorable, tongue-eating creatures of the sea — without being too gross.

Sold on Amazon for $115.25, this doll has a very succinct description:

  • Giant isopods (daiogusokumushi in Japanese) are passionately loved by some people now in Japan.
  • This giant isopod doll has become less grotesque than real ones.
  • The doll has cute round eyes and is very soft and comfortable to the touch.
  • They found the creatures mysterious and cute. A giant isopod in Toba Aquarium has eaten no food for over 4 years.

Don't you want to cuddle it right now? Because after 4 years of no food it won't be hungry for your tongue AT ALL. But what is perhaps most intriguing about this freakish offering from Amazon is that it's competing with other giant isopod plushies, from the same company, that cost far less money. These isopod plushie interlopers are not "realistic," however, and that I suppose makes all the difference.