In Which Some Of You Are Sadly Mistaken About Enterprise

Illustration for article titled In Which Some Of You Are Sadly Mistaken About Enterprise

You can disagree with Charlie Jane's list of the 10 most disappointing sci-fi prequels all you want, but as soon as you try to convince me that Enterprise was good? That's where you lose me.


I'm all for people disagreeing with what we post, especially if it's done in a way that (a) is funnier than we are (Very common, considering you people. Damn you) or (b) somehow proves us wrong and yet still manages to make us feel good about ourselves (Admittedly, somewhat less common), but there's a line that friends don't let friends cross, and the relative value of Enterprise is one of them. I admit it, I've been tuning into the occasional episode on HDNet recently, needing a Trek fix before the movie comes out, and here's the thing: The series is, at best, okay. It's not the satanic thing of hell that I remembered it as - Okay, the third season kind of is, but we were all different people back then - but it's never really, really good, either. Or, for that matter, even Voyager good. That's why this discussion caused me such pain on Thursday:

Justin MacIver: "Come on Enterprise wasnt bad at all until later on when it got hard to understand.."

MrTim: "Wait, what? Hard to understand? Better earlier on? Were you watching the same show as me?"

NotArthurPDragon: "It started at the horrific theme song (a song! since when have we needed a song!?!) and went downhill from there, climaxing the needless death of the most liked character in the final episode."

alphanumeric1971: "I too had hope, even once I heard the theme song. But then I saw the "decon Gel" scene and for me all hope was lost...

Mercurial Chimaera: "On the subject of that song... every time I heard it I was thinking alternate lyrics: "It's been a bong load, to get from there to here..." Because that's about what it took to properly numb your brain against the onslaught of time-traveling Nazi aliens, etc."

LittleDragon: "I for one love that song (the other shows had songs as well, just no words). I liked the show but T'pol was a bit to emotional and looked too human."

Azogue: " The theme song was the deal killer on this one... it...simply...sucked... wind... very...hard. Moronic lyrics. They should've used the music from the alternate "evil" universe episode for the entire series. Much better. And without Star Trek and Star Wars, kids may never hear an orchestra!"

dOk: "I keep telling you guys that I know the origin of that stupid song. When I worked at Interplay back in its heyday, there were a string of game producers backed by paramount producers that wanted a stupid rock song for Star Trek. The idea got shot down back then but some jerk-wad just couldn't let it go and pushed for it again on Enterprise and got it. The rest is ear suffering history and proved once and for all why it was a bad idea that got shot down in flames years ago."

L3G10N: "If they went with Stan Bush's "You've got the touch" I would have watched every episode....well at least the opening credits!"

ShefaliMagooin: "Yes, the song was annoying, but that is why you just skip over it on the DVD. The reality is that the last season killed it. It was too cheezy with excessive two and three part episodes. The last episode was the final nail in the coffin. I don't blame them for cancelling it after that. It was like they wanted to ensure that there wasn't any point in carrying on."

neolex: "Season 4 was what season 1 SHOULD have been... Human's exploring their neighbourhood, getting into unfortunate scraps, laying down all the building blocks for the awesomeness of TOS, TNG, DS9 and ... the other one... I will come out and say I LOVED season 4 ENT. Great World-building tie-ins to what the audience knows is coming."

Harrison_Bergeron: "The show had a couple moments where you could actually see something worthwhile under the stock characters and recycled plots, but they really were few and far between. On the whole though the show really was crap."

twDarkflame: "The pilot was great, and the last season was pretty good (çept the last ep), but overall. No. It was such a waste opertunity too....rather then exploring near our technology (+warp) they introduced tracker beams, holodecks, transporters etc practicaly every episode."

SinisterBill: "Not to mention they set it in the time period leading up to the war with the Romulans, only to show them in 2 freaking episodes! Fuck, they had 7 season worth of established canon that would have practically written itself and instead they scraped it all and gave us the fucking Xindi. BURN IN HELL BRAGA & BERMAN!!!"


Well, I wouldn't go that far, but let's face it: Enterprise really was terrible, and for more reasons than just that song. No-one sane would disagree with that, right?

fyngyrz: "Enterprise was awesome. Especially in HD. Great characters (ok, the captain was a little wooden), t'pol, decent continuity instead of the rabid randomness of TOS and TNG and the various spin offs, quite a bit of decent CGI, good sets, more than one or two believable aliens, t'pol, some nice — and well integrated — re-visits of TOS concepts, and t'pol. Oh, and t'pol. And you 9-year olds complain about the theme song(s). Wait'll you reach puberty and take a look at t'pol again. Did I mention Enterprise had a character named t'pol? Yeah. Totally. Amazingly. Hot. And a great character as well. The counter-universe episodes were WAY better than TOS or TNG attempts at same. But hey, you guys get back to buffy, the vampire craver, or (cough) Dr. Who-the-heck-would-call-this-worth-watch.... You're the same people that lost us Firefly. Your taste is all in your twitter feeds."

Yeah, like I said. No-one sane disagrees.

(Seriously though, "Your taste is all in your twitter feeds" is my new favorite insult.)


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The Enterprise theme song sounds straight out of Team America: World Police. It circles past 100% cheesiness into self-parody.

The show was mostly missed opportunities, though I was glad to see Jeffrey Coombs play an Andorian. By the time they really latched on to the series' premise, it was cancelled and all the story lines had to be hastily wound up.