If the Prequel to The Omen Isn't a Satanic Sex Ed Film, Why Bother?

Illustration for article titled If the Prequel to iThe Omen/i Isnt a Satanic Sex Ed Film, Why Bother?

Current A&E drama Damien picks up where The Omen ended, fast-forwarding to cast the Antichrist as a 30-year-old New Yorker who’s rediscovering his demonic destiny. It’s an uneven show. But Satan’s pop-culture moment surges forth with the announcement that an Omen prequel movie is now in the works.


So, presumably, the script—by newcomer Ben Jacoby—will involve the conspiracy behind Damien’s birth, which has zero mystery left thanks to the fact that sussing it out is the entire plot of The Omen. Someone’s going to have to train a jackal, and stage a huge hospital fire. Someone’s going to have to play a character that murders an infant (the switched-at-birth son of Gregory Peck and Lee Remick’s characters in the 1976 film).

And, depending on how far back the story goes, someone’s going to get to play Satan impregnating said jackal in the first place—which, frankly, might be kind of interesting. Is there actual mating involved, like Rosemary’s Baby? Or does Satan cast a spell over the animal that magically renders it knocked up with his evil seed? Is there a kinky ritual that precedes it, with robes and chanting and human accomplices yet to be seen?


These are some of the questions we have. And we’re free to speculate at this point, since the news about the Omen prequel doesn’t tell us anything more than this: it’ll be called The First Omen; it’ll be directed by Antonio Campos (whose most recent film, Christine, is thankfully not a remake involving a haunted car); and it’ll be produced by David Goyer of Blade and Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies fame. Nothing about the story. For now, we’re just gonna assume it’ll be a primer on how to spawn the Antichrist—because that would be killer. Anything else... mehhhh.

[The Hollywood Reporter]

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Science-fiction Sex Education should totally be a thing. Someone needs to explain voluntary sterilization to the Skywalkers (you keep breaking the universe), that sex with science experiments is bad (pretty much any movie involving humoid robots/aliens), that having kids after you've made deals with demons isn't a good idea (looking at you, Mary Winchester), and that you should still use protection even if you think your infertile (Prometheus). I'm sure there are a billion more examples that would help characters be more genre-savvy in their family planning.