Redditor elbostonian's son was asked to draw up a list of personal goals for his fourth year of primary school. What he came up with was a check list that every one of us could probably stand to aspire to.

Here it is transcribed, for those who can't read third-grader:

1. Learn the gases pushed from Hyper novas

2. Drink 1 gallon of milk in 1 day without going to the bathroom

3. find if you are sent in a worm hole or traveling in time When Entering a black hole

4. Play COd with Ethan and Matthew

5. become a nerd

6. Eat a rack of ribs that is coverd in bacon

7. learn How to

Honestly, we don't even care if it's fake and it turns out Jimmy Kimmel is behind the whole thing (it also sounds suspiciously like the to do list of a starving astrophysics PhD candidate). This here's an excellent list – whether you're nine or ninety. Unless you're a vegetarian, in which case maybe eat some tempeh-wrapped tofu? I don't know. Figure it out. learn How to — and then do it.