Coolio Almost Played Scarecrow in a Schumacher Batman Movie, and We Are Losing Our Damn Minds

Illustration for article titled Coolio Almost Played Scarecrow in a Schumacher iBatman/i Movie, and We Are Losing Our Damn Mindsem/emem/emem/em

The entire DC Universe was relieved when Joel Schumacher got sent to Arkham after Batman and Robin, guaranteeing he would never direct a Batman movie again. Well, now we have something to regret: Coolio could’ve been the next Scarecrow. What the hell, world—you’re making me regret not having another Schumacher Batman movie.

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In an interview with the Burleson Star in Texas, Coolio said the only reason he agreed to do a cameo in Batman and Robin, where he played the “Banker” during Robin and Batgirl’s bike race, was because Schumacher had promised that he’d get to play the Scarecrow in the next film. Sadly, the studio scrapped the follow-up and fired Schumacher after B&R failed to meet box office expectations, leaving us forever wondering what Coolio would look like with straw in his dreadlocks (of course Schumacher would make him wear straw).

“He was supposed to do the two next ones,” Coolio said. “He and I didn’t get along that good anyway—I mean he made a terrible Batman movie. But the next villain was supposed to be the Scarecrow. They didn’t do it though. Maybe one day. I’m sure they won’t come calling, though.”

Of course, Schumacher might not have gotten the memo. Back in 2011, Schumacher said he’d talked with Nicolas Cage about playing the Scarecrow in his next Batman flick, tentatively called Batman Triumphant, and that he’d wanted it to be a gritty retelling of Frank Miller’s comic The Dark Knight Returns. Sure, Joel, we totally believe you... even though you said that three years after The Dark Knight came out.

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In any case, it’s a classic example of what could’ve been. Can you just imagine Coolio bouncing around as the Scarecrow, rapping about “Gotham’s Paradise” as he traps Batman (likely played by Kevin Costner at that point) in a fluorescent green toxic gas? Jack Nicholson’s Joker would’ve been there too, as a drug-fueled memory, because according to Schumacher, Nicholson was still under contract and Schumacher doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s feelings.

Still, Coolio as the Scarecrow. Damn.

[Comic Book Resources]

Video Editor and Staff Writer at io9. My doppelganger is that rebelling greeting card from Futurama.

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DISCUSSION

Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire

I have always adored the theory that Batman & Robin was, in fact, a movie that, itself, premiered in Gotham City and exists in the Batman universe. Like, Batman could be casing rooftops nearby and descends upon his vantage of the theater - out of a limousine traipses George Clooney, the cameras strobe, Chris O’Donnell walks well ahead of him, all the while Batman monitors the entire scenario; of which Bruce would read the next morning that the entire film was a complete turnip- a hastily neon, quasi-homoerotic caper of a thing.

To which Bruce pauses, mid-glug of his spinach and avocado smoothie - a damp and heavy towel furnishing his shoulders as he sets down his Gotham Times and, aloud, inquires of no one with brusque contemplation:

“Bat nipples?”