Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Parental Advisory Site Trying to Describe Sausage Party Is More Entertaining Than the Actual Film

R-Rated food comedy/Seth Rogen wiener vehicle Sausage Party opened this weekend, and I saw it along with plenty of other people (though not as many as Suicide Squad.) It wasn’t very good! What it had—in spades—was a lot of dirty jokes, racially-charged “humor,” and graphic food sex.

Advertisement

Far funnier than the movie itself is how parental advisory site Kids In Mind tries to describe these various sequences in distant, clinical language to alert parents to the potentially offensive scenes they might expose their children to. (The site rates Sausage Party’s sex and nudity, violence and gore, and profanity as 9, 6, and 10 out of 10, respectively.)

Below are some choice quotes from the Kids In Mind assessment of The Movie Where The Food Fucks. Spoilers, obviously:

Advertisement

Four items make an anal-vaginal-oral daisy chain, all thrusting wildly as a taco sucks violently on a hotdog

[T]he douche opens the zipper from inside and laughs maniacally, pinches the shouting man’s genitals

A bagel and a flatbread tell each other they will perform oral sex on each other

[H]e later breaks a bottle of tequila, drinks some and throws the bottle neck into the crotch of a food package between its legs (it grabs its crotch and moans)

Advertisement

[A] powdery herb-drug is thrown onto a campfire and is loaded into a kazoo and a few items smoke from the kazoo and look dazed

A hotdog hangs on the running board of a fast moving car and reaches a house

A woman (animated) is wearing skin tight pants wiggles her behind as we see it in close-up and we see her groin area in close-up from inside a grocery cart

Advertisement

[H]e later puts a match to some jet fuel and flies a man through a skylight and into the sky to explode as fireworks and peanuts in the shell catch a bloody eye as it falls

Read the rest here.

Advertisement

Senior reporter. Tech + labor /// bgmwrites@gmail.com Keybase: keybase.io/bryangm Securedrop: http://gmg7jl25ony5g7ws.onion/

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

Dr Emilio Lizardo

I found it amusing. The funniest part was my interaction at the box office:

Me: Two for Sausage Party at 2:20 please

Her: Two adults?

Me: Uh, yeah. Has anybody tried to take kids to see this?

Her: Not yet, but we do have a sign warning stupid people just in case [points at sign].