There are a lot of great not-true things at Facts I Just Made Up, but only one forces us to imagine a world where people have just enough knowledge to accidentally summon an archangel to a high school.

This is what the entry titled "Scenes from L.A.'s growing magician problem" looks like:

12-19-12, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.'s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city. Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, "They say the chalk washes away but that's not the problem here. The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don't always know what they're doing. They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael."

Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment. We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, "Where am I? Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!"

Troubling words indeed.

Check out other not-facts, like the origin of cauliflower, the end of a fractal, and the integrated circuit meteor, at the Facts I Just Made Up tumblr.


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