This week, we watched with big watery eyes as the baby vampire Jessica met a boy and batted her long eyelashes alluringly, at his pulsating jugular. True Blood recap, with spoilers, below.

True Blood tied up a few (but not many) loose ends this week, by freeing our boy Lafayette (more on Sookie and Bill's half-hearted kindness towards the bleeding prostitute later) and made Tara a bit more aware of what a tool Eggs is, guitar playing and weepy emotional talks aside.

Sookie was attacked by some horned beast and almost died โ€” again โ€” and Eric got his sexy back. A good episode all in all, but the best moment came from side characters Hoyt and Jessica.


Pro: Bill finally telling off Sookie for acting like "an irresponsible child." Sure, sure, he delivered a few VAMPIRES in his tirade, but the point still got across. Maybe he's finally realizing his girlfriend is an idiot and shouldn't be trusted with any sort of real responsibility, ever. Speeding in the car, the couple and their blood crying ward wail on each other until Sookie just can't take it anymore and storms out, of course. Why sit in a car and actually listen to others explain to you why you have the maturity of a 5-year-old, when you can leave and wander in the murky supernatural darkness of a forest? No danger to you and the rest of your friends there, right?

Con: Sookie exits the car, and within minutes gets attacked by a big bull monster. Once again Sookie is thrown into harm's way so she doesn't have to deal with her idiotic personality issues.


Con: With Sookie sputtering up foam and at death's door (fingers crossed!) Bill orders Jessica home, and she obeys like a little droid. So this is new. Bill can command his "ward" to do things? Why hasn't he been doing this from the beginning? It seems like it would have saved him a lot of grief. But you know, these two like to do everything the hard way.

Pro: Tiny vampire-hating Doctor Ludwig is delightful. She reminded me (and I'm sure I'm not alone) of the wonderful Zelda Rubinstein of Poltergeist fame, and that's not a bad thing.


Pro: Meanwhile, back at vampire hatin' church camp, Jason took time away from the sexually charged Jesus sing-along to dream of sweet, long dead, gay vampire Eddie. What a lovely surprise. I miss you Eddie, your departure was both cruel and unkind. I don't care if it's as a nightmare or not, good to have Stephen Root around again. Plus, I'm glad Jason is actually feeling bad about his new vampire-killing mission. Sure it's going to take him some time to come to terms with "thoughts" and "emotions," but we all know at heart, Jason is a good person. I shudder to think of Jason getting all corrupted by the Fellowship of the Light, but if it means more shirtless football montages in the future, I'm game.

Con: The pumps line. Bad, bad True Blood.

Pro: Terry gets a little crazy face time and is aces for calling out Sam on being a yellow bellied deserter. Poor Terry, he's the one person in this whole messed up alternate world that has full right to be as messed up as he wants to be (remember he's a vet) and yet, he's the only one with any common sense. I like the little Terry moments of reality he imparts upon the cast from time to time.


Pro: During the Fellowship Of The Light's vampire testimonial, the vampire victim looks like she had a rough time as a vampire buffet. Poor girl is covered in fang marks โ€” nice touch. Also if these marks don't heal, shouldn't Sookie have a lot more bites all over her body? Just sayin'.

Pro: If you didn't think that Jason and the Pastor's wife were going to get naked in the holy light for Jeebus, this little back and forth confessional should seal the deal. Plus, she later brought out her "banana pudding" which is a "slice of heaven," and you know she "doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody." Pudding = sex.

Con/Pro: Sookie wakes up all healed in a Fangtasia t-shirt, which is already up for sale along with Eric's purty jewelry. Con for the plug Pro for anyone I see at Comic Con wearing this.


Con: Tara and Eggs โ€” the saga that no one cares about continues. For one strummy moment Eggs closed his eyes and played upon his guitar of self discovery. Everyone clapped and Tara looked at Eggs with big moony eyes, because guitars are sexy dontcha know? In this dark, I wept when I was handed this old stringed instrument, I really felt like we peered into the soul of dear Eggs, and it was empty.

Pro: While Sookie is getting another mouthful of vampire blood to heal her mysterious wounds, Eric vampire jumps in front of Bill and offers up his own veins, foreshadowing much? That being said, I'm starting to buy his whole I'm too sexy for my old haircut attitude. He's growing on me and I like it.


Pro: Ginger makes Sookie a peanut butter and chocolate syrup sandwich, this doesn't surprise me at all.

Con: Sadly, we're forced back to the topless fun times at Maryann's house. It's got to be a sign when you've got all sorts of ladies jumping around topless, and I'm bored to tears. Move this plot forward or retire it: we know she feeds, or something, off of sex and general disarray. We get it, move on now, please.

Pro: Jason attends dinner at the Holy Family's house, at which he gets a lecture on vampire hatin', classic Jason moment: "What's going on out there is a war." Jason turns to look. "Not right now, Jason, but in general."


Pro: The entire Jessica-and-Hoyt seduction scene. There is just so much to love about their little courtship. The whole moment was incredibly clever, from the second Jessica sat down and Hoyt's veins started pulse to the look in her eyes when she frighteningly orders a Tru Blood. This character has grown on me in ways I did not imagine, and I'm totally giving it up to the actress and Ball. It was so sweet and innocent, this poor little girl has the worst maker and "step mom" ever. They send her home and forget about her, it was perfect for Hoyt to step in with the gentle hand she so needed. As cliche as the whole "love soothes the savage beast" it works here. Especially when her fangs pop out in the heat of the moment and she reacts with, "this is so embarrassing I'd die is I wasn't already dead." Plus, the camera loves Jessica, she's glowing this whole episode.

Pro: An additional pro needs to added to the vampires playing Wii moment, Bill has a Wii? I don't believe it but oh if I didn't turn into a puddle on the floor when Hoyt said, "may I?" before holding her hand. This is the kind of thing Bill tries to pull over and comes across as forced (for me)... sigh, Southern men.


Con: After discovering that Eric has been keeping Lafayette in the basement of Fangtasia (pro to Eric for being so "meh" about the whole thing), Sookie and Bill make a deal with Eric in exchange for L's life. They then pile him into Bill's car and drop their dear friend who was tortured, fed upon and starved on the front steps of his house. Sure they offered their assistance, but you could tell it was half-hearted BS. I cannot believe him getting out of the car after promising to have a vet look at his giant gunshot wound. You people are truly beacons of compassion. I'm so glad you waited five seconds before getting back to important things, like talking about your relationship. Truly there's so much "goodness" in both of you. They couldn't take 5 minutes away from feeling sorry for themselves to make sure Lafayette is settled in and OK. It doesn't matter if he protested โ€” he was BLEEDING FROM A GUN SHOT WOUND, you self absorbed psychotics. Sookie and Bill, I hope you two get eaten by wolf people.

Con: Aaaand back to the drunken sex party, again, which I'm still bored with. Eggs and the random boobs girl deserve each other they both have about the same amount of acting talent.

Con: Sam's feeling good and running in the woods with his other puppy friend. He ends up naked in a lake with new waitress Daphne, because clothes are all but forbidden in Bon Temps. Any one else interested in this new Daphne is a monster plot? I may be full up on monsters for right now. I'm going to need some Maryann answers before I go about committing to any new beasties.


So that's it, there's a break for a week and then we're all going to Dallas for vampire mystery solving.