The following letter to the editor by 14-year-old Jasmin H. was published in the October 3 edition of Canterbury, New Zealand's Northern Outlook. In this strange missive, the youth claims that that the global gay agenda will lead to a frightening new species of monogamist ducks. Or something. It's not entirely clear! (In a nutshell, if you're definitely gay, you might also be a little bit Roman, and you're absolutely enabling our new avian overlords and their Lovecraftian genitalia.)
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As a former homeschooler, I would like to apologize on. We're not all like that.