Here's Proof That Most Teleporters Have a Very Limited Imagination

Tom Scott, of the incredibly useful “Things You Might Not Know” has a bone to pick with teleporters. As Scott points out, there are so many things you could do with that ability. And yet, the only thing people with this ability choose to do is fight crime.

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In addition to his gripe with superheroes, Scott also breaks down all the issues you have to navigate in order to successfully teleport. Plus, he has a fiendish plan for any supervillain that happens to develop this ability.


Contact the author at katharine@io9.com.

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DISCUSSION

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2lines1shape

99% of anyone on a superhero team is completely irrelavent. The perfect superhero team would be Nightcrawler, Professor X, and Forge. Assuming Nightcrawler can train himself to teleport large masses, what possible problems couldn’t they solve/prevent within a few seconds.

“What’s that Forge? The scanner you built shows someone is breaking into a bank in Paris? Kurt, teleport me there, and I’ll either telepathically convince them to stop, or, if that doesn’t work, you teleport them into jail. Then we’ll check in with Storm to see how she’s doing solving the California drought in between helping Magneto and Jean generate free, clean electricity and broadband for the entirety of North America. No, of course we don’t need Colossus or She-Hulk. When has a strong person punching things ever, in the history of mankind, solved more problems than it caused?”