We’ve gotten the first poster and trailer tease for the Tomb Raider reboot, starring Alicia Vikander as the new Lara Croft... and guest-starring a giraffe as her neck.
The official trailer arrives tomorrow, but the tease gives us a taste of what Vikander’s Croft is going to be up to, and it looks like shenanigans. Based on 2013's more realistic Tomb Raider game, and not the original series that led to a two-film franchise starring Angelina Jolie and her boobs, the new movie looks like it’s going to be a survival tale with just enough traps and tricks to keep original fans entertained.
But I’ve got a bone to pick with the poster. Guys, what’s up with her neck?
It’s just so long, like Guinness Book of World Records long, with this giant curve that magically manages to make it even longer. Vikander doesn’t look like this—barely any humans do. And considering they’re trying to promote this film as having a more realistic Lara Croft, subbing boobs that changed size from scene to scene for a photoshopped giraffe neck doesn’t seem like the best foot forward. Just look at her. She’s a hybrid between a human and a desk lamp.
Tomb Raider arrives March 2018.