Hasbro Is Making Monopoly: The Musical, and God Help Us All

Illustration for article titled Hasbro Is Making Monopoly: The Musical, and God Help Us All

You know, we only have the success of The Lego Movie to blame for this. Now brands the world over are trying to shoehorn themselves into entertainment ventures in a desperate bid to be the next Lego Movie success tale, and we have come to this: A broadway musical about Monopoly.


Yes, revealed through Variety this morning, Hasbro is teaming up with Broadway producing group Araca to bring its family-friendly capitalism simulator board game to the stage show—and, most chillingly (although the plans are much more in flux than Monopoly: The Musical), the potential for even more stage productions based on Hasbro franchises, including Magic: The Gathering.

Details are sparse at the moment—the Monopoly show has no creative team or solid idea on how it plans to bring the board game to life, which seems like something you’d have figured out before announcing it—and it’s not expected to hit Broadway for another three or four years. However, Matthew Rego of Araca told Variety that it won’t involve a family playing Monopoly, but instead draw upon what made The Lego Movie work:

I can tell you this: It’s not going to be a musical about people sitting around playing Monopoly. What turns us on is creating something that explores the world of Monopoly, kind of like the Lego movies have done with Legos.

See?! Told you we could blame this on The Lego Movie. Why did you have to be so good, Lego Movie? What have you done?

Alas, Monopoly: The Musical probably won’t be a gritty thriller about a family tearing itself apart over a game of Monopoly, which is a damn shame. What it lacks in the opportunity for jazzy musical setpieces it would more than make up for in truly encapsulating the living hell that is playing a game of Monopoly.

James is a News Editor at io9. He wants pictures. Pictures of Spider-Man!