Hansel and Gretel trailer will fatten you up... with action!

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We have an early contender for the most ridiculous movie of 2013: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Delayed from summer 2012 because this film would have looked like a sillier version of Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, it's now coming out in January. And holy crap, does this look ridiculous.


The above trailer gives pretty much the entire plot of the movie, and probably all the cool moments as well. Cool moments include Jeremy Renner (Hansel) dodging in bullet time, Gemma Arterton (Gretel) head-butting someone who questions her, and a special witch-decapitating trap. There are also approximately 1000 anachronistic weapons, including a witch toting a Gatling gun. As Mechanique author Genevieve Valentine was saying on Twitter, this really is the next Jonah Hex.

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This reminds me of Van Helsing, but with a tad Robert Rodriguez-like exploitation fun. Looks hilarious. I'm in. Except maybe for Gemma Atterton. Never liked her as an actress, always found her flat, and the only character trait she knows seems to be "superficial bitchiness"