Part of the cover for Ministers of Grace. All Images: Jordan Monsell

When something is well-written, it’s not uncommon to hear someone refer to it as “Shakespeare.” For example, hypothetically, someone might say, “The script for Ghostbusters was so good, it’s like Shakespeare.” But what if Ghostbusters actually was written by Shakespeare?

That was the question posed by Jordan Monsell. And not only did he pose it, he answered it. His new book Ministers of Grace: The Unauthorized Shakespearean Parody of Ghostbusters takes Ghostbusters, originally written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis, and translates it into iambic pentameter and other kinds of period prose. The result is the same Ghostbusters you know, but in a way you never expected.

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For a taste, here’s a brief excerpt from Ministers of Grace. It’s when the Ghostbusters go out on their first call.

INNKEEPER

I humbly thank thee gentles for thy speed. Our guests grow anxious by the hour and start To question me for reasons have I none.

RAY

Hath it appeared ere now?

INNKEEPER

The eldest servants know of higher floor The strange impatience, I do mean to say Though stirred it not these past five moons till late. And ne’re did carry on as violently.

EGON

Did’st thou make report to any soul?

INNKEEPER

Nay! Good heavens! We do not speak of it. I wish it were removed before the dawn.

RAY

Verily. Now peace good sir. Custom hath made it in we a property of easiness.

Exit INNKEEPER

MAN AT STAIRS

What be you, a Muscovite?

PETER

Nay, we be extirpators. A rat a man did see on floors above and called upon us.

MAN

An unholy size this rat must be.

PETER

‘Twould take this from this, sirrah.

RAY

Wilt thou follow?

MAN

I’d rather keep my head to chew and swallow.

RAY

It hath occurred to me of late that a successful trial of our weapons have we not.

EGON

I do accuse myself.

PETER

As do I.

RAY

The fault, dear Egon, is not in our stars but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

PETER

Wherefore be troubled? For upon our backs have we unlicensed boxes of rough magic.

RAY

Agreed. Are we content?

EGON charges RAY’s pack, then backs away.

Plus, Aykroyd himself gave Monsell a quote for the book.

Ministers of Grace is now available on Amazon and Monsell is doing book signings in the Los Angeles area. Visit here for those dates.

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