First Resident Evil: Retribution trailer blames smart phones for the apocalypse?

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The fifth addition to the long legacy of ladies kicking T-Virus ass in questionable attire, better known as the Resident Evil franchise, has finally released its first trailer.


Yes, if you can make it through shameless Sony merchandise plugs, there's an actual trailer buried under there for Resident Evil: Retribution. And it looks like we'll be heading back to Raccoon City pre-infection to hang out with some old friends (who will also probably try and sell you Sony goods).

Here's the synopsis. The movie hits theaters September 14:

The Umbrella Corporation's deadly T-virus continues to ravage the Earth, transforming the global population into legions of the flesh eating Undead. The human race's last and only hope, Alice (Milla Jovovich), awakens in the heart of Umbrella's most clandestine operations facility and unveils more of her mysterious past as she delves further into the complex. Without a safe haven, Alice continues to hunt those responsible for the outbreak; a chase that takes her from Tokyo to New York, Washington, D.C. and Moscow, culminating in a mind-blowing revelation that will force her to rethink everything that she once thought to be true. Aided by newfound allies and familiar friends, Alice must fight to survive long enough to escape a hostile world on the brink of oblivion. The countdown has begun.


Erik Sofge

I think I might be inclined to get into a fistfight over how completely awful these movies have always been. They aren't guilty pleasures. They're the goddamn worst. And unlike Bay's megamovies, I actually think all the "ironic" ticket sales make up a sizable ratio of the more modest returns. So hey, joke's over, guys. How about nobody goes or rents or streams, so this stupid franchise can vanish with a whimper?

And anyone who finds this trailer "cute" or, god help us all, "funny," perhaps we should escalate to a knife fight. The gene pool will thank me.

Also, she now looks exactly like Underworld's equally boring protagonist. They should just merge these two franchises into one 3-hour-long slo-mo gun/fistfight, thus compressing both hype parades into a single, more easily dodged stream of explosive diarrhea.