Expelled Conspiracy Revealed!

Illustration for article titled Expelled Conspiracy Revealed!

We knew there was something going on, and at last night's press screening of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, we found out just how deep the rabbit hole goes. Yes folks, the rumors are true — the stars, producers and even the film's financial backers are pushing a pro-neo-subliminal-Darwinist agenda in a bid to bring down the Intelligent Design movement once and for all. This one goes all the way to the top — everyone from PZ Myers to Richard Dawkins to George Soros (say it ain't so, George!) is in on it. Click through for the gripping story Expelled's unintelligent designers never wanted you to know about.


It all started with PZ Myers getting ejected from a screening of the movie in Minnesota last month. A famous blogger, Myers is featured heavily in the film but was denied entry to the movie, no explanation given. A gruff security guard told him (or so he says) to leave the premises or face arrest. Myers claims he left, and yet he somehow found time to blog during the movie about how Richard Dawkins managed to gain access to the theater. Where does he claim he did this blogging from, a nearby coffee shop with free Wi-Fi? A likely story.

Fast forward to last night, when our suspicions were confirmed. On the way into the screening, my bag was searched and a security guard frisked me with one of those squealy wands they use to find weapons on people at airports. Now I don't remember the last time someone hijacked a movie theater, so what are they hiding in there?

In we went to find out, and we weren't disappointed. Throughout the movie the intrepid Ben Stein (the movie's hero and narrator) keeps reappearing at a lectern, looking like George W. Bush, talking about 'freedom' this and 'freedom' that. An audience sits rapt before him, reminiscent of the Whitehouse press corps. Clearly, this is a thinly veiled attempt to equate Ben Stein's credibility on science issues with those of W himself. As if to drive home the point, snippets of Ronald Reagan's speeches are spliced in as well, again yammering on about 'freedom.'

Other points only serve to harden the case for conspiracy. Consider:

Fact: when someone asked during the Q&A session "So who did finance this movie?" Premise Media's marketing director, George Lange responded, "I don't know...certainly not George Soros." Oh really? Why was Soros, a famously liberal billionaire on the tip of Lange's tongue?

Fact: Richard Dawkins is known for calling anyone who doesn't agree with him "ignorant" or "stupid." But he even stated in his own review of the movie that he must've been feeling 'magnanimous' that day when he appeared to come out in favor of Intelligent Design. He claims the movie's producers twisted his words, and that he was just describing the idea of panspermia, but come ON. Richard Dawkins is nothing if not not magnanimous.

Fact: When pushed on the PZ Myers fiasco, Lange admitted "Myers earned his money on that one," referring to the publicity that followed. "Earned his money"? what's that supposed to mean, Lange? When pushed that it may have been in the producer's best interest to stage Myers' expulsion, Lange replied "this is not some grand conspiracy." Isn't it? Isn't it?


Lange also said "there was no deception, no one was deceived" in getting several ardent atheists to agree to do their interviews. If that's the case, they'd never agree to appear on film unless they were working from the inside. Here I refer you back to Lange's comment: "Myers earned his money on that one."

The evidence is in and we think you'll agree; it's conclusive. The makers of Expelled are engaged in a massive conspiracy to bring down Intelligent Design movement by pretending to advocate for it.



Annalee Newitz

@spindle: He was blogging from a coffee shop in the mall where the theater was. So yes, he brought his laptop to a theater.