Every Single Urban Fantasy Cliche In One Glorious Story

Illustration for article titled Every Single Urban Fantasy Cliche In One Glorious Story

And yes, that's a tall order. But over at Fantasy Literature, they've decided to put their heads together and create a single story that contains every urban fantasy cliche ever. Can you help them?

Top image: Cover of MLN Hanover's Vicious Grace, as lampooned by Jim C. Hines here.

Here's how their story begins:

My soul-beacon tattoo woke me at two in the morning. I got up and slipped into my skintight, gleaming black leather pants, the matching boots with the four-inch stiletto heels, my bustier and a black hoodie. All set for a night of fighting, climbing and running.

Someone in the city was in trouble. I hoped it wasn't a family member again.

Can you add to this masterpiece? If so, head over to Fantasy Literature and add your two cents.

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You know, if there was good characterization in there, and the pacing and tone were halfway decent, I'd read the SHIT out of this story.

Those cliches are popular for a reason; we want our cheesy popcorn heroines to be larger than life, and sexier than mortal minds can comprehend. I get tired of most urban fantasy series sometime in book two not because they're riddled with cliches, but because they quickly reveal that the writer doesn't know what to do with the character, or can't write action, or is fixated on rehashing the same romance with the same archetype. If they kept the same tropes, but just aimed them in even a slightly new direction, I'm THERE!