When we ranked the original Masters of the Universe figures, you knew the Princess of Power figures were also coming, right? Sure, She-Ra’s toyline wasn’t quite as epic as her brother He-Man’s, but it was still awesome. It’s just that some figures were more awesome than others.
The one, the only. Seeing as we live in a world today where toy companies adamantly refuse to provide action figures of badass heroines for young girls, the fact that there was an entire toy line about superpowered women fighting bad guys is even more impressive now than it was in the ‘80s.
2) Scratchin’ Sound Catra
While most members of the Evil Horde were released as part of the Masters of the Universe line, She-Ra’s primary female foe Catra was a Princess of Power figure. This special version had an arm-moving action feature which included a cat-scratch sound effect.
First of all, let’s point out that Netossa looks awesome. Yes, she’s dressed like the patron saint of Starlight Express, but no one, no even She-Ra, has a more badass outfit. Also, she’s the only black character in She-Ra. It is kind of weird that her power is owning a cape that doubles as a net, especially when you remember that that He-Man’s only black character is a guy whose power is owning a very large clamp. Still, you can’t beat that outfit.
4) Double Trouble
Like the Masters of the Universe figure Man-E-Faces, Double Trouble has, uh, many faces. Well, she has two, compared to Man-E-Faces’ three, because just like women only earn 70 cents to the dollar a man makes, they only get 66% of extra faces. However, DT has a good face and an evil face, which she uses to infiltrate the Horde to spy on them, which is infinitely more useful than a robot or monster face.
5) Bubble Power She-Ra
Yes, She-Ra owned a massive “gun” that “shot” bubbles, as long as someone was helpfully standing behind the back of the gun and blowing into it. Still, as one of the only Princess of Power figures wielding anything close to a projectile weapon, this She-Ra was pretty badass. And her gold and pink outfit could certainly have been worse.
Entrapta has two giant purple pigtails which she uses to trap her foes. Not only does her hair look boss, the fact that she essentially trapped her foes within arms-reach was subtle proof that Entrapta could kick serious ass. I mean, if she were setting remote traps around the Whispering Woods for Leech, Mantenna and other Horde minions to fall into, that would be one thing. But instead, she lets them get up close and personal before snaring them with her locks.
In the cartoon, Catra’s power was that she could turn into a black panther when she put on her cat mask. The figure came with a (less badass) version of the mask, but totally failed to deliver a blank panther figure for her alternate form. At any rate, this was basically the same figure as Scratchin’ Sound Catra, minus the action feature, which is why she’s lower on the list.
This Ice Empress has no action features to speak of, but her outfit was amazing, with an iridescent cape that looked vaguely like melting icicles. In the world of She-Ra, not dressing entirely in pink is practically a superpower of its own.
Although a mermaid might sound de rigueur for She-Ra’s pals, Mermista was actually a pretty sweet figure. Her fishy lower half was created by a fabric dress that could be removed to reveal human legs. She had options! Plus, her necklace squirted water when her shell backpack was squeezed. Honestly, this makes her one of the most action feature-laden figures in the She-Ra toyline.
On the cartoon Glimmer was the leader of the Rebellion, and the princess of Brightmoon. She was the main character on She-Ra after She-Ra herself. Alas, as an action figure we wasn’t so important; she was labeled only as a “guide who lights the way” and dressed uncannily like an extra in Flashdance. Still, thanks to her prominence on the show, her figure was a necessary addition to any She-Ra fan’s collection.
11) Shower Power Catra
This Catra figure came with an incredibly cheap squirt gun accessory. It was impressive when compared to many other She-Ra figures, but wasn’t that special otherwise. Also, this Catra had on stupendously ugly Van Halen-esque pink-n’-black polka dot spandex leggings on, so she’s docked points for that.
Angella is not an actual angel, which means that the Judeo-Christian god has not given his blessings to the fight against Hordak and the Horde Empire, turning it into a holy war. Angella’s just a “winged guide.” In the cartoon, she’s also a queen and the mother of Rebellion leader Glimmer, making her one of the more important She-Ra figures, if not one of the more fun ones.
This “Beautiful Flying Lookout” has butterfly wings. They’re less cool-looking than Angella’s angel wings, but they did actually flutter when a string was pulled, so advantage: Flutterina. It’s more disturbing to wonder whether Flutterina was originally born Caterpilla before she her current form.
When I was young and watching He-Man and She-Ra, I remember my grade school contemporaries were quite cruel to Bow, the one man on Eternia with enough balls to join the Rebellion and fight the Horde. I’m pretty sure we all assumed he was gay, especially since he wore a little heart symbol in the cartoon. Now that I’m older I know that if he was gay that would be completely fine, and if he were heterosexual, being the one dude in an army of sexy female warriors was an incredibly wise decision.
Dubbed “Enchantress who hypnotizes,” Castaspella is one of She-Ra’s many magical allies. The only thing that sets her apart is a shiny plastic circle with a holographic golden sticker on it, which was used to hypnotize her foes and attempt to hypnotize your little brother and/or sister.
16) Starburst She-Ra
This variant She-Ra had a special cape that, when opened, supposedly revealed “a burst of stars.” In really, it just looked like She-Ra was carrying a really ugly bedspread from the ‘70s.
17) Sweet Bee
I don’t know why Mattel didn’t make this bee-themed She-Ra character part of Buzz-Off’s race, other than the fact that girls of the ‘80s probably weren’t that interested in buying figures of hideous mutated bee-women. As such, Sweet Bee got dinky plastic wings and a helmet that looked like antennae.
Peekablue is one of the few She-Ra figures to have an action feature, namely, a giant peacock tail that unfurled when you hit a lever. The toy line couldn’t even pretend this was somehow a useful thing to have, dubbing her “Watchful Feathered Friend.” But what’s really disturbing is when you remember that peacocks are males — the females are called peahens, and their tails don’t have the vibrant colors that the males and Peekablue display — and that they primarily use their tail in order to get peahens to have sex with them. I’m not judging, I’m just pointing this out.
Dubbed “Dizzying Defender,” Spinnerella’s ability seems to be that she’s wearing an outfit made entirely out of tassels, so when she spins they kind of fly around and… uh… I think that’s it. I have no idea what this is supposed to accomplish. It doesn’t seem like it would make her foes dizzy. Maybe she just makes herself dizzy? If that’s what she’s trying to do, why doesn’t she just drink like everyone else?
You’d think that Perfuma, being named Perfuma, would have the same smelly action feature of Masters of the Universe figures Moss Man and Stinkor. You would be wrong. She does not smell like perfume; instead she has an ugly dress that looks kind of like a flower and a backpack that for no reason has a flower in it. Perfuma blows.
If a Smurf had sex with Rainbow Brite, the resulting abomination may have looked a lot like Loo-Kee, the strange rainbow-attired munchkin who spent each episode hiding in the background for viewers to try and find. His other job was delivering the morals at the end of each She-Ra episode, so you know how fun he must have been to own.
A cross between an owl, a koala bear, and some bizarre creature with giant ears that had rainbows in them, Kowl was Bow’s boon companion. He was also a prissy, officious jerk who made every scene he was in worse by his presence. His “figure” was really just a small hunk of plastic, which was best used for hurling at your sibling’s head when he/she wasn’t looking.
All photos from the ultimate Masters of the Universe resource, He-Man.org.
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.