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Hollywood has finally wrung every last drop of evil out of the classic literary movie monster with Dracula Untold, the new prequel in which Vlad the Impaler is a loving dad who would rather take his son on a happy riding trip than, you know, impale his enemies. Sigh.

Sure, it's awesome to see Dracula turn into a giant mob of bats and smash into an invading army, but every time I hear Dracula — again, Vlad the Impaler — talk about how swell peace is, I want to take my copy of Bram Stoker's original book and beat a Hollywood executive to death with it.

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Note: This is the first international trailer for the movie, which has the much better title Dracula Zero in Japan. I would argue that the movie should be called Dracula Zero inn all countries, because that's about how much the movie has to do with the actual character of Dracula.

[Via First Showing]