​Dracula faces his greatest foe yet: A board meeting

Here's how insane Dracula is: It feels like very little happened in this episode, even though there was sex, murder, major goal achieving, the secret of life after death was discovered and Dracula even walked in the sun. Because all this actually is kind of subdued for Dracula.

The episode begins with that most feared of vampire stories: The daytime board meeting. Patrick from Coupling (I can't bring myself to call him Browning) decides to have a board meeting in the middle of the day in a solarium to see if Grayson is a vampire; Lady Jane is certain he's not, if only because having repeated sex with a dude and not noticing he's a vampire would be a bit embarrassing. Speaking of sex, Mina and Harker get to it after getting drunk at a dinner paid for by Grayson. The next morning, Harker wants to elope, but Mina thinks its because they had sex and shuts him down.


The big news is that a company called Empire & Colonial has the alloy he needs for his crazy electricity stuff, so of course Grayson wins the company if a poker (thanks to his Dracula powers allowing him to see the cards reflected in people's eyes). Actually, the big news comes a little earlier, when Renfield tells Grayson that the Dresden Triptych is going up for auction, although Patrick from Coupling also wants it, but since we have no idea what this is, it's just a minor mystery for now.

Back in her lab, Mina finds a container of blood and injects it into some cheek cells (sure), reanimating them. So she inject a dead rat with the blood, but sticks it in a storage bin before she notices it too has started moving again. When she tells Van Helsing about this, he freaks and fires her, which is actually good because he was about to murder he with Van Helsing's Silver Hammer instead.

Meanwhile, Harker published his article on Shaw's bribery, pissing off the Order, because Shaw is worthless to them now, and pissing off Grayson, because he's playing some sort of mind game. Davenport gives Harker tickets to a play, where Harker discovers the woman who had told him about Shaw's financial indiscretions is actually an actress.

Also meanwhile, Lady Jane invites Lucy over for lunch and tells her girl-on-girl action is a very natural part of a woman's maturation, and she should just jump the next time Mina gives her a sign. This goes about as poorly as you'd expect; Mina touches her friend's check, Lucy kisses her and declares her love, Mina suddenly realized that perhaps Lucy had secret agenda during all those sleepovers, and tells Lucy to get out.


Finally, the board meeting approaches, so Dracula and Van Helsing have to go for broke. Dracula gets in what I'll call the Electric Jesus machine, since it requires him to pull the ol' crucifixion pose, and Van Helsing and Renfield do the requisite electrocuting and Grayson walks into that board meeting in full daylight, with his head held high. Of course, he only has about three and a half minutes before he combusts, so he has Renfield bring him "urgent news" so he has an excuse to go. Davenport tries to delay him, but Grayson manages to get into his cab just before he starts smoldering and screaming in agony. But that's okay, because he visits Vera the actress, drinks her down, and then is feelin' fine.

Yeah. That's what a slow episode of Dracula looks like.


Assorted Musings:

• The Dresden Triptych is a real thing, a massive religious painting from the 1400s. I have no idea what it has to do with Dracula or the Order, but I bet it will be exceedingly crazy.


• I assume Dracula is going to eat Lucy next episode? I don't know what she's going to do otherwise. Maybe Lady Jane recruits her... and that's why Dracula takes her out. That could be cool.

• You know, there are four episodes of Dracula left, and I still don't have the faintest clue where all this is going. Not even slightly.


• Next week there's two Grimms, so the next episode of Dracula will air on January 3rd. See you then!

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