Some of our favorite movies have left us with long, lingering questions. Like how does Bane eat? And what sort of mental damage does a giant dog dragon inflict on a couple of kids in the real world? And so many other unanswered questions.
Here are the deleted scenes we wish were on the DVDs for our favorite movies.
Warning: Spoilers for The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises below.
How does Bane eat? What does Bane eat? Look at those muscles, you don't bulk up on magical steroids alone, the body needs fuel. But Bane can't even take his mask off. In the film, one displaced tube practically incapacitates the "forever in the friend zone" monster, so his diet would have to pass through the mask. Is this the first villain to be on a permanent juice cleanse? We need to know!
Once Erik Lehnsherr has defeated Sebastian Shaw and swipes his fancy telepath-blocking helmet, he reappears in the finale to break Emma Frost out of prison. In this scene the original Shaw headgear has been completely revamped into the classic Magneto helmet from the comics. Which means in between paralyzing Charles Xavier and picking up Emma Frost, Erik sat down to paint his new hat purple (and add a few decorative touches like the horns). We would like to witness Magneto's craft corner.
Everybody makes a joke about the "three sea shells" and how primitive and disgusting it is to use toilet paper. But NO ONE SHOWS US HOW THEY WORK? Seriously, we need an instructional video, and no it doesn't have to be disgusting — just use blue liquid like in diaper commercials.
What happens after a Chestburster bursts out of their host's chest, and before they become a fully adult Xenomorph? We know they shed off their skin — but what does an adolescent alien look like? Are they mauve? Do they get super awesome HR Giger acne? Show us!
Nick Fury's super dramatic, over-the-top throw down of Agent Coulson's precious trading cards (now covered with the fallen S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent's blood) was all a lie. When Agent Hill points out that the cards were in Coulson's locker, we immediately visualized Fury tip toeing around the helicarrier dipping the cards in whatever blood he could find. Or even unzipping Coulson's body bag and just waving his hand around like a grab bag. Art via Palalife.
Bastian's revenge on the school bullies seemed a little extreme, even for the 80s. We're so happy someone else agrees with us and showed us what happened after a giant white dragon tried to eat a trio of children in broad daylight.
Thermians sex, come on you've thought about it. How did Fred Kwan know how to make love to Laliari? Wasn't there an, "Oh sorry that's....your eye... my bad" moment?
In the gritty "real" Batman world Chris Nolan was channeling, didn't anyone else think it was strange that Batman still caked on the eye makeup? We want to see Bruce Wayne applying eye makeup before putting on his mask. Kick-Ass made this work, why couldn't Nolan?
Thanks to Team Coco's hilarious Dark Knight Rises post for the inspiration.