Image: Riverdale, CW
Image: Riverdale, CW

I have no idea what version of Archie this show is supposed to be based on, but I’m kind of in love with how balls-to-the wall bananas they’ve gone with it. It’s meant to be all Twin Peaks-y and atmospheric, but instead it’s like every teen drama ever made threw up into the same puddle.

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Back in May, we expressed some surprise at the CW’s synopsis of this show. First, since it included Archie (KJ Apa) and Ms. Grundy (Sarah Habel) having a student/teacher affair—always creepy in real life but somehow usually “forbidden” in the hot way on TV. And also, because it talked about the mysterious death of Jason Cherry. Well, both of those things are on full display in this trailer.

We start with Archie and Ms. Grundy making out. I’ll wait for a second while comics readers digest this:

Illustration for article titled Dead Bodies, Forbidden Romance, and Tears Abound in the iRiverdale /iTrailer
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And very shortly see the gruesome remains of Jason Cherry. I’ll wait again for everyone to get a grasp on this:

Illustration for article titled Dead Bodies, Forbidden Romance, and Tears Abound in the iRiverdale /iTrailer

What are you, show? It’s like someone took Pretty Little Liars and layered every possible Archie reference over it all. Kudos to the costuming department, though. All of those touches are dead on. We’d all wear the crown beanies Jughead’s (Cole Sprouse) wearing.

Riverdale premieres January 26.

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Katharine is the former managing editor of io9.

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