Here’s a fun little question: Is it mutiny if you can’t remember being a part of the crew? In episode 3, Dark Matter went with “No.”

Spoilers...

Let’s recap this show in the manner that makes the most sense. Which, oddly, isn’t chronologically. Because we’ve got a beginning and end mostly related to some larger mysteries and a middle that has very little to do with anything other than the question of whether these people like each other.

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The main chunk of this plot is that a coupling has failed, which will cause the ship to explode if they make the jump to FTL. Granted, since no one has any memories and they’re pretty sure someone on the ship did the wiping, there’s every chance that the exploding is more sabotage. But since that would require someone to have gone on an unnoticed space walk, the android informs them that — if it is sabotage — it’s more likely that the sensors were damaged to strand the ship in a dangerous part of space.

The only way to actually repair the coupling is to take the aforementioned space walk. Which the android volunteers to do because, well, she’s an android. She also programs an override that will take them to FTL even if she is still outside. In case an emergency pops up.

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Obviously, the android fixes the coupling but gets disabled on the outside. They have two more suits available to go get her. Three is pissed that his life is being endangered for an android, and he convinces Four to hit the override.

The would-be mutineers are easily taken down because Five had taken the massive overprecaution of breaking into Three’s quarters and stealing all his bullets. It reads pretty badass in the show, but I kind of agree with Three that it was a giant invasion of privacy. No matter how much of a dick he is.

One and Six go out to get the android. In the process, Six goes down. But the android gives him a giant shock and restarts his heart. Yay for teamwork. Two declines to punish Three and Four since they didn’t actually mean harm, they just wanted to not die in the quickest way possible.

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More interesting than any of that is the discovery of a teenage boy’s body hidden on the ship, which happens at the start of the episode. He died from a gunshot, but, of course, there’s no information about who he is or who the killer is. Two wants to space the body, since, you know, they’re going to have enough problems when they get to the space station without a mystery body onboard. One thinks that’s just wrong, because One is long on morals but short on logic.

We also now know where Five’s dreams are coming from: the program that deleted the memories was glitchy as hell and A) managed to hit the person who uploaded it — probably not on purpose — and B) deposited everyone’s memories into Five’s head. Oops. Based on the incompetence on display, I’m going with One.

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Especially since the last shot of the episode is someone who looks just like One — but with a lot more eye makeup, so we know he’s the bad one — looking for the Raza and claiming to actually be Jace Corso. So... Twins? Surgery? A mask so good even One doesn’t notice he’s wearing one? Android? Either way, something is hinky with One.

We also learn this week that no one is just pretending to be mind-wiped, since they use the Android as a lie detector and no one’s lying about that. The interrogations were little personality snapshots, with Two reiterating once again that she’s just Two and not who she was before. The best scene in the episode is Three’s interrogation. One has to point a gun to his head to get him to do it, and he yells out that it will influence the test. The Android agrees: “If you shoot him, you may skew the results.”

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This episode was all about pairs and everyone trying to connect with one another. In rough order of success:

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Three and Four: Three wants to sell the Raza and split the money six ways, so they can all go on their own. It’s at least a logical plan, if stupid since literally all they know is on this ship. Two rejects it, but does offer to let anyone who wants to go leave with whatever’s left over after they supply the Raza at the space station. All the others reject it, too, but Four rejects it last and tells Three that he’d just take the ship if he wanted out. His answer to “Do you mean anyone on this ship harm?” is “Not yet.” He’s the only one willing to break away from the group if he thinks he needs to, so he’s the closest thing Three has to an ally. As a result, Three shares with Four his quest against the unopenable door, which leaves Four unimpressed. God, I hope to hell that there’s nothing behind that door except a pile of beanie babies.

One and Six: They’re the ones willing to go out and get the android. Where Three and Four are the most mercenary, they’ve been the most empathetic.

Five and the Body: Five remains completely apart from the rest of the crew. The episode starts with her trying to get someone to play a game with her and getting rejected. So she goes exploring in the vents and ends up finding the body. She thinks she might have known him, since they’re roughly the same age. She also knew where the body was, and seems certain she actually knew it was there, rather than getting the information from someone else’s memory. Poor Five.

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One and Two: Fuck this whole plot point. I’ve never hated something I saw coming so much. At the end of the episode, One kisses Two and I actually said out loud, “Oh, fuck this.” I just... we’re three episodes in. We haven’t had any time to actually care if they got together — and there is not enough unspoken chemistry to justify it. Maybe the characters are supposed to have chemistry, but the actors don’t. And there’s nothing more miserable to watch than a relationship unfold like this. Either cast it properly or abandon the relationship if the actors you like can’t actually act like they’re attracted to each other. I will only forgive it if it turns out that it’s another sign of One’s incompetence and Two ends up putting a bullet between his eyes. Gah. Hate.

I want to root for you, Dark Matter, I do. And when the show’s focusing on the mysteries, I like it. But these characters are just too formulaic, and a couple of the actors not quite good enough, to make me care about them as people.

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Contact the author at katharine@io9.com.