Cthulhu Needs a Perky Blond Sidekick

Sure, a talking dog movie is money in the bank, but what about a talking Great Old One movie? Cthulhu is all the rage these days - there are freaking Cthulhu bunny slippers, for Yog-Sothoth's sake! And since Lovecraft's creations are all public domain, a studio could pen the script without having to license any rights. The time is ripe for Cthulhu to rise again...with a perky blond sidekick.Jenna MacNipperson (Cameron Diaz) is a spoiled daddy's girl on vacation in Cancun. When her island-hopping party boat runs aground on the ancient city of R'lyeh, she accidentally awakens the slumbering Cthulhu (voiced by Terry Hatcher), The Thing which cannot be described. One look at MacNipperson's Manolo Blahniks and Cthulhu knows they will be BFF - literally, for all eternity. From Cyclopean masonry and non-Euclidean architecture to Rodeo Drive and Hollywood afterparties, the world is their oyster as these two outrageous debutantes embark on the Final Shopping Spree. But one man wants to ruin the fun: detective Hutch Fleming (Martin Lawrence). This uptight officer of the law wants to nail the girls for credit card fraud, as well as a series of mutilation murders. Wacky misadventures ensue when Cthulhu and MacNipperson avoid Fleming's bumbling justice. When the Star-Spawn of Cthulhu and a host of cultists show up, you know the fun is just getting started. I smell franchise!


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