Cobra Kai's Johnny Lawrence Has Some Incredibly Bad Advice for Staying Inside

Johnny Lawrence, getting ready to karate.
Johnny Lawrence, getting ready to karate.
Image: Netflix

Staying in this winter? Due to the cold, and, y’know, the pandemic? Cobra Kai’s fictional sensei, Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka), has some suggestions, courtesy of Entertainment Weekly and Cobra Kai’s writing team. They’re terrible.

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First, as for entertainment? Forget the streaming. Johnny Lawrence prefers, uhh... much worse content. “Stock up on as many swimsuit issues as you can,” he says (or, well, the writers say he says). “Everyone’s all cranked up about this World Wide Web, but all it takes is one downed power line and you’re out of luck. Plus, babes are hotter on the page. That’s proven.”

Gross, dude. His drinking suggestions are no better: “Since when did having a drink involve a chemistry set? Keep it simple and crack open a Coors Banquet. There’s no problem big enough that a Banquet can’t solve.”

The rest of his advice is equally, cringe-ly from the mind of a dude who was young in the ‘80s and never quite grew out of it. So, they’re perfect. Lawrence has the power of karate and personal growth on his side, but, uhh, his leisure choices aren’t amazing. Though he is right about Rocky movies.

If you want the whole list of advice, go check it out at EW. Lifehacker this ain’t. Cobra Kai is on Netflix now.


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io9 Weekend Editor. Videogame writer at other places. Queer nerd girl.

DISCUSSION

cr007j
Citizensnizzips

The entire character is the epitome of toxic masculinity that was seen as aspirational well into the early 2000s - this dude would have been ALLLLLL over pick-up artist “culture.”

He’s a caricature but also a reminder that a lot of us who grew up in the 80s didn’t have great ideals at the time.