Chechnya wants these motherf—in' wizards out of its motherf—in' country

Illustration for article titled Chechnya wants these motherf—in' wizards out of its motherf—in' country

Attention, all wizards who were planning to take a trip to the nation of Chechnya in the near future — I have some bad news. Rebel-turned-head of state Ramzan Kadyrov has called for a ban of all wizards and other "charlatans" who would exploit the Chechnyian people. Via the Telegraph:

Mr Kadyrov said at a meeting with municipal leaders in Grozny, the capital, on Saturday that "turning to wizards and false healers won't bring them any relief and is banned by Islam," according to a statement from the Chechen government.

He went on to threaten that anyone engaging in such practices would feel the force of the region's feared security services.

Though Mr Kadyrov is taking a hard line on "forgers" who "discredit Islam," he has been eager to promote Islamic mysticism since he became president in 2005.


I have so many thoughts right now:
1) Doesn't there almost have to have been a wizard that ruined things in Chechnya for everybody? Like, Gandalf was palling around with Severus Snape, and the two were partying and fleecing the locals so bad that Kadyrov was forced to issue this law?
2) Speaking of Gandalf, think Kadyrov is cool enough to make a big "ARE YOU A WIZARD? IF SO, YOU SHALL NOT PASS" sign at the border? Probably not.
3) What about the Washington Wizards basketball team? Are they allowed to enter? Because they're kind of charlatans when you think about it. 4) Well, no matter what, thank god Kadyrov is focusing on the important issues.

[Via Topless Robot]


Sorry to be a party-pooper, but... This is one of those things that are only amusing as long as you try really hard to be really infantile about it. In Africa, witch doctors recommend raping female children as a cure against AIDS. It's a real problem, based on ignorance, as superstition can often be. (Remember Torquemada? Well, he burned about 2,000 people at the stake on such grounds.) Kadyrov's wizard-ban may be just a case of Islamic fundamentalism (ha ha!), but it may well be based on perfectly real and serious problems, too.