"If you show someone their future, they have no future." That's the wisdom of Ben Affleck, in this bizarre clip from Paycheck, the movie that bounced. Apparently if you can look into the future, you turn everybody into soulless mall kids, with no purpose. And your attempts to prevent future catastrophes will always cause those catastrophes to happen, because... uhhhh... Hey, it's Uma Thurman with really bad hair! (Wig? You decide.) More details, and another Paycheck clip, below.

You think Paycheck is going to be a slippery thriller about a guy who's had his memory erased, but it takes a very unfortunate left turn. It turns out the missing year that was erased from Affleck's memory involved him building this machine that can look into the future. And he used it to see that bad things would happen if the machine ever went on the market. So armed with this foreknowledge, and a bunch of random objects like paperclips, the amnesiac Affleck is able to prevent the horrible future he saw in the machine. Even though the problem with the machine is that you can never prevent the horrible futures it shows you. Oh hey, it's Uma's hair again!


I'm going to skip the cheap shot about how if Ben Affleck really had a predict-o-matic machine, he would have been forewarned about Jersey Girl and Gigli. Here's another amazing Paycheck moment: The evil henchman decides to look into the future-telling machine to see his own future, not realizing Ben Affleck has stuck a bullet in one of the valves to make it blow itself up. So the predict-o-matic machine shows the henchman that he'll get blown up in about twenty seconds... and twenty seconds later, it happens! He's just turning to run away from the exploding future-scope, and boom! It's comedy gold. Or maybe comedy frankincense, because it's so aromatic.

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