Action Figure Sarah Connor Has No Time For Your Bullshit, and the Rest of the Ass-Kicking Toys of the Week

Toys and CollectiblesAction figures, statues, exclusives, and other merchandise. Beware: if you look here, you’re probably going to spend some money afterwards.

Welcome back to Toy Aisle, io9's weekly gathering of all the action figures tempting our wallets on the internet lately. This week: a very tall dinosaur, D23 shows off an exclusive Woody, and Terminator: Dark Fate is already kicking off its merch cycle with a very badass Sarah Connor. Check it out!


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Mattel Jurassic World Legacy Collection Brachiosaurus Figure

Twenty-six years later, Jurassic Park remains one of the greatest summer blockbusters of all time. There was no shortage of toys on shelves when the film debuted, but you can finally recreate one of the movie’s most memorable scenes, “Welcome to Jurassic Park,” with this monstrous $50 Brachiosaurus figure from Mattel. Standing 28-inches tall and 34-inches long, it’s got articulation points in its legs, neck, and tail, so it’s nearly as posable as an action figure. If you’ve been waiting 26 years to finally complete your Jurassic Park toy diorama, your wait is finally over.


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NECA Toys Terminator: Dark Fate Figures

With both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton on board for the next Terminator film, there’s a glimmer of hope it will turn the franchise around. The last time the pair tried to save the future was 28 years ago in Terminator 2, and since then toy design has advanced by leaps and bounds. NECA’s Sarah Connor and T-800 feature impressively recognizable likenesses of each character for figures that are just seven inches tall, and when they hit stores in October they’ll each include swappable head features and guns—lots of guns.

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Ghostbusters Terror Dog Life-size Replica

If you’re a normal person, when the warm temperatures of summer finally roll around in June and July, your thoughts immediately turn to planning out your October Halloween decorations. It’s never too early to start, and this year you might want to consider this life-size replica of a Ghostbusters Terror Dog to help guard your candy bowl. For $500 you get a 30-inch tall latex and foam replica with glowing eyes. It doesn’t move or growl, but add a smoke machine and a Bluetooth speaker and you’ll easily scare all the local kids away, leaving you with a mountain of bite-size Snickers to gorge on.

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Limited Edition Woody’s Roundup Talking Woody Figure

It’s a crime to hold an expo or a convention and not offer some kind of exclusive merchandise. For the upcoming D23 Expo, which will be held at the Anaheim Convention Center from August 23 to 25, there’s going to be enough exclusives to fill an entire Disney Store, but this faux vintage Woody figure stands out among the rest. Toy Story 2 gave us a glimpse into Woody’s celebrity past, which is delightfully recreated in this $70, D23-exclusive monochromatic figure that comes packaged in a retro black and white TV box that’s airing an episode of the fictitious Woody’s Roundup.

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Super7 Ren and Stimpy Deluxe Figures

You can tell we’re getting closer to the bottom of the retro nostalgia barrel when characters like Ren Höek and Stimpy J. Cat are getting the deluxe figure treatment. But to Super7's credit, the company has done an admirable job at accessorizing these seven-inch collectibles, with alternate faces and grosser ways to customize each one. They’re available for pre-order now for $40 each, which is probably going to limit their appeal to diehard fans of the animated series.

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Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Cutter

The novelty pizza cutter market is a crowded space, but Sega has found a way to get us to spend $17 on yet another kitchen gadget to clutter up our drawers. The molded plastic handle bearing the Sonic the Hedgehog logo is nothing to get excited about, but that laser-engraved cutting wheel featuring a rolled up Sonic makes us want to slice through pizza after pizza while making embarrassing revving sound effects. Let’s just put this in that new Sonic movie instead of wasting all that money on visual effects.

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About the author

James Whitbrook

James is a News Editor at io9. He wants pictures. Pictures of Spider-Man!