A strategy guide to "Real Life," the game every one of us is playing

Illustration for article titled A strategy guide to Real Life, the game every one of us is playing

Oliver Emberton, who writes about "understanding and getting the most from life," has penned a clever, illustrated strategy guide for this hot new RPG you may have heard about. It's called "Real Life" – and literally everyone is playing it.

Here's Emberton on "The Basics":

You might not realise, but real life is a game of strategy. There are some fun mini-games — like dancing, driving, running, and sex — but the key to winning is simply managing your resources.

Most importantly, successful players put their time into the right things. Later in the game money comes into play, but your top priority should always be mastering where your time goes.


On "How to Obey Your Own Commands":

Illustration for article titled A strategy guide to Real Life, the game every one of us is playing

Many players find that when they choose to do something – say "go to the gym" – their body ignores them completely.

This is not a bug... If your state gets too low in one area, your body will disobey your own instructions until your needs are met. Try studying when you're exhausted and hungry, and watch your concentration switch to Twitter.

Your willpower level is especially important. Willpower fades throughout the day, and is replenished slightly by eating, and completely by a good night's sleep. When your willpower is low, you are only able to do things you really want to.

On "Finding a Partner":

Attraction is a complex mini-game in itself, but mostly a byproduct of how you're already playing. If you have excellent state and high skills, you're far more attractive already. A tired, irritable, unskilled player is not appealing, and probably shouldn't be looking for a relationship.


The rest of the guide is equally fantastic. Check it out at Emberton's website.

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A game, huh? So there must be cheat codes, right? Will applying the Konami code finally make me rich, beautiful and famous? Asking for a friend.