Last night's Supernatural, "And Then There Were None," got us back into the season's big arc about the origin of all the monsters on Earth. Plus it dished out some magical forensics and a little 1980s action movie fu.

Spoilers ahead!

For an arc episode, things were surprisingly monster-of-the-weekish.


Eve's opening gambit

The last time we met "the Mother" or "Mother of All," she was being fed virgins by her loyal dragon sidekicks and floated out of Purgatory on a wave of fire. Now it seems that she's walking around barefoot in a nightgown, seducing truckers into doing bad deeds. I thought the opening scene was actually great. The Mother appears in barefoot weirdness at a gas station and asks a trucker for a ride. She introduces herself as Eve, so we're playing with Bible references again. You're assuming she'll eat him or something, so when she gets in the truck and starts aggressively making out with the guy it seems like it's curtains.

But he pulls away and starts lecturing Eve about how the emptiness she feels inside is all because she's yearning for Jesus. And I just love her reaction, as she gets into a theological debate with a guy who has no idea that he's talking to somebody who knows because she was there. "God doesn't care about you," she snarks, then says, "Your father abandoned you. A mother would never abandon her children." And then, of course, she goes in for the monstery whatever, grabbing him and doing something to his ear with her mouth. A something that causes him to go home and axe his family to death.


Magical forensics

Pull back to HQ at Bobby's and we find out that there's been a rash of monster weirdness - tons of monsters sighted heading for the very town where Jesus guy met Eve and killed his family. Plus there have been more violent outbreaks in the town. So every Hunter for miles around heads that way to investigate, including Rufus and Grampa Samuel with Gwen in tow. For some reason Bobby comes along too, dressed as a Fed in a nice tie and trenchcoat.


Revelation: Bobby cleans up well! What a cutie! Not that he isn't cute in his scruffy tees and jackets, but there's nothing like a good tie to really spiff a person up. Rufus is doing the spiff-up too, in an even snazzier trenchcoat than Bobby's.

While Sam and Dean interview the guy who met Eve, Bobby and Rufus decide to examine the bodies of some of the people who have been committing violent acts elsewhere in town. As Rufus says, "It's not rocket surgery." That's right - they go into the morgue and do supernatural forensics on the body, using special instruments to poke inside their ears and find out what's in there. Turns out "it's not ecto," but just an extremely stinky, tiny black blob. What could the tiny stinky blob mean? They ponder.


The whole scene filled me with a burning desire for CSI Supernatural Unit. Without the CSI part.

It could be in the form of a BPRD TV series, or just a spinoff of Supernatural about a couple of Hunters who use only science and forensics to solve their cases. Maybe with a dash of the lab scenes from Forever Knight (moment of silence for the loss of Forever Knight). Whatever. Just GIVE IT TO ME NOW. Thank you.

Family reunion

All the Hunters wind up converging on an old cannery where a bunch of the stinky-ear guys worked before murdering people and getting shot by the police. And that's where Dean and Sam see Grampa Samuel for the first time since he sold them out to Crowley as ghoul meat. He's with Gwen, who apparently didn't know about the whole ghoul meat thing. After the inevitable "I'm gonna kill you" moment from Dean, followed by the equally inevitable "you don't remember anything, do you?" moment from Grampa, followed by the fundamentally necessary forehead-wrinkling from Sam, we settle back down into "let's find the stinky ear monster" plot again.


Unfortunately, Dean caught the stinky ear while everybody was debating about how bad it is that Grampa was willing to kill Sam and Dean. So Dean kills Gwen and runs away, and everybody has to listen to steel guitar while there's a chase scene in the spooky cannery.

They find Dean in a pile of confusion, babbling about how a worm crawled out of his ear and into the ventilation system. So now we're pretty sure that the stinky ear blobs were left by a worm using "monster possession," which is apparently a totally unknown thing. Monsters never possess - until now!


So then there's a whole round of "who has the ear worm" which reminded me a lot of many 1980s action movies but most especially The Thing. Everybody locks their guns away and keeps an eye on everybody else until Grampa decides to take a bathroom break and the brothers follow him suspiciously. Which of course ends badly, because they see worm goo in his ear and finally Sam winds up shooting Grampa.

Now the entire Campbell clan is dead.

Who was that stinky worm?

Rufus and Bobby do a little more rocket surgery, this time trying to cut Grampa's skull open to find the worm. Their bone saw moment also gives Bobby a chance to try to apologize for "what happened in Omaha," and lets us see that the bad blood between the two men goes deep. Rufus freaks out a little and says he'll never forgive Bobby, ever. And that's when Grampa, head half-sawed, jumps up from the table and starts attacking - only to eject his earworm when he falls against an exposed wire.


Cue up round two of "who has the ear worm," but this time with electrocution. Who doesn't want to be electrocuted with this giant live wire? Obviously it's the person with the stink ear. And that person is Bobby, who reveals his wormhood by stabbing Rufus in the heart with a knife. Sam and Dean have to torture Bobby nearly to death before the little worm comes out in a steaming pile of electrocution juice.

During the torture, though, the worm speaks through Bobby and explains that he's a brand-new monster Eve just whipped up for this little mission to bring out all the Hunters and deliver a message.


And this message is this, if I may paraphrase:

Dear Hunters, I'm the mother of all the monsters and I'm really pissed off. By the time I'm done there will be more creatures than humans on the Earth, and the remaining humans will live in pens and we'll eat your children. Get ready for death and pain. Love, Mom.

So, okay then.


And now it's time to process our feelings

Rufus is dead, so the brothers and Bobby gather at his graveside for a very informal Jewish funeral which ends in liquor. Bobby finally tells the story of how the two of them first met. Apparently, when Bobby's wife got possessed, Rufus rescued Bobby, exorcised the demon, and helped Bobby clean up the body so nobody would blame him for his wife's death. And then they "rode together," Bobby says, "kind of like you two." They all mull this over, and think about how sad it is that Rufus never forgave Bobby.

And that's when Dean busts out with a badassedly sweet speech about how they are family, and he forgives them for everything they've done. "So when I die, when I get my guts ripped out, blanket apology for everything accepted," he concludes. Though Sam and Bobby protest that they've done some pretty bad things, Dean insists. All is forgiven preemptively.


Will he live to regret saying that? Only time will tell - lots of time! No more Supernatural until mid-April. What will we do with ourselves when there's only The Event to watch? I predict face stabbing.