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The Millennium Bug delivers the evil hillbilly kaiju mashup you never knew you wanted

Illustration for article titled emThe Millennium Bug/em delivers the evil hillbilly kaiju mashup you never knew you wanted

Need a new crazy indie exploitation film in your life? Then look no further than The Millennium Bug, a seriously gory flick that answers the age-old question of what would happen if Godzilla rampaged through a Rob Zombie movie. Though bits of the movie feel like warmed-over hillbilly stereotypes, there's a deranged imaginativeness at its heart that will win over horror fans. Plus the movie's ad campaign features "no CGI" stickers, which basically means you're going to get good monster. (Which you do - oh yes.)

Here's the official synopsis:

On New Year's Eve 1999, Byron Haskin takes his new wife and teenage daughter camping in the mountains, hoping to escape any Y2K madness. But madness finds them in the form of the inbred hillbilly Crawford clan, who abduct the Haskins to refresh their stagnant gene pool. Bloody carnage between the families ensues, but no one is expecting the monstrous horror hibernating beneath the forest floor. Unseen for 1,000 years, this Millennium Bug is hungry... and December 31st just happens to be its birthday.

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What I love is that your typical "scary hillbilly" movie is interrupted by your typical "cryptozoologist in search of something freaky" movie, which is in turn interrupted by your typical "giant monster rampaging for no reason" movie. This is meta trash cinema, people.

The main problem here is that the hillbilly movie is too long. We needed to get to the giant monster more quickly, or at least have had less True Blood-style monster sex. I will admit that I admire writer/director Kenneth Cran for not being afraid to take this whole hillbilly perversion idea to its most extreme, including a truly inspired birth scene that ends with the cutest Crawford son saying dejectedly, "Aww, deformed again?"

But the fact is, we're watching The Millennium Bug because we're down with the whole "no CGI" program, and that means we're looking for giant monsters. In between the Rob Zombie moments, we get a glimpse of another story unfolding - the tale of a mad cryptozoologist on the hunt for a rare bug-like monster that only wakes up every 1,000 years. Pretty much everything related to this monster, up to and including his lust for hill people blood, will make the kaiju fan in you weep with joy.

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It's not very often that you get a flick that smashes human-sized monsters up against giant monsters. And although The Millennium Bug may not be to everyone's taste, it's fun to see where the edges of torture porn brush up against the edges of kaiju mayhem. Check it out - if you dare.

You can buy The Millennium Bug now on the film's official website.

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DISCUSSION

Man, I really do not like Hillbilly stereotype movies. I am an Ozark Hillbilly and I resent this! There really aren't any of these inbred types....uh, no, wait. You have not met my daughter-in-laws family....Oh, never mind.