70-Minute Review of Phantom Menace Is The Only Prequel I'm Ever Watching Again

Illustration for article titled 70-Minute Review of Phantom Menace Is The Only Prequel I'm Ever Watching Again

This astounding Phantom Menace video review has been making the rounds, and for good reason. This wickedly brutal analysis splits the film wide open, with clever edits and behind the scenes footage including Lucas’ melt down at a PM screening.

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Part 1

Part 2 - And FINALLY Someone breaks down the horrible space taxes plot.

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

DISCUSSION

So, I watched like a minute of this and I don't think I can get through it. It just makes me angry as filmmaker... NOT because Episode 1 is admittedly failure, but because I've gotten the sense that Lucas really TRIED with this film and the unapologetic hate directed towards him is much more telling of the viewers than the film itself. They all had the perfect film in their minds and nothing less than that would be the "worst. Film. Ever."

Maybe I'm crazy. Anyways, sorry for the rant below...

You can all disagree with me and that's fine — we wouldn't be friends if I didn't appreciate your opinions — but I just needed to get this off my chest.

This isn't directed towards any of you specifically, just the "fans" in general, so... turn back now those of you with young children, a weak heart, or chronic masturbators.

Look, I can't argue the point that TPM didn't work. I have trouble rewatching it without some sense of disappointment. But I'm really really done with the constant venom directed towards Lucas (as well as Speilberg, Cameron, etc.), as if he went out and raped your childhood or your favorite character. He didn't. If anything it always seemed to me that he was trying to do the best he could. He failed. Get over it.

YES, TPM was weak. YES, AOTC was flawed. YES, ROTS was uneven but in my opinion it was by far the best Star Wars since Empire.

The point is Lucas is the man behind some if the greatest films we have ever seen — films that we all agree defined our love of cinema and storytelling — films that have a very special in my heart.

This spitting in the face of our heroes is just tired, as if we expect them to be perfect and that everything they do should be perfect and not doing so is them intentionally jizzing on your face and telling you to like it.

All of us here are creative individuals — how many times have you written a script or a short story or a novel or whatever, have put hours and hours into it, believe with every fucking ounce of your goddamn soul that this will top your previous film, story, etc. and then show it to someone else and realize it just didn't work the way you thought it did?

You might say: They have no excuse for this. That they should have known better. Avatar should have been a better film cause James Cameron had so much fucking money. Indy 4 should be perfect because they had 20 years to write it. Don't you think they thought it was the best it could be when they made it? Don't you think they believed it was best film they had ever made? Do you think they wanted it not to work?

Godwilling you all will have the chance to tell your stories on the silver screen and share it with the masses. Hopefully the audience will be kinder to you than you've been to Lucas, Speilberg, Cameron, etc.

Love you,

-Loserface