7 Science Fictional Bars We'd Like to Visit

Illustration for article titled 7 Science Fictional Bars We'd Like to Visit

Life in the cities of tomorrow is filled with stressful encounters involving flying cars and Robopocalypses, so where can you find a nice place where everyone knows your designation? Here are seven science-fictional bars we wish we could visit.

Illustration for article titled 7 Science Fictional Bars We'd Like to Visit

1.) Club Hel

Location: The Matrix's Mega City
What kind of Crowd? Usually the tie-me-and-gag-me types like to hang out in this leather clad-paradise, but it usually seems to have a regular crowd of rogue programs masquerading as werewolves, vampires and other paranormal anomalies.
Why you should give it a shot: Most people might be thrown off by the number of vinyl cows killed to make the fetish gear, but if you were smart enough to take the red pill, this is old hat.

2.) Holoband Clubs

Location: Anywhere you want, as long as your live in Battlestar Galactica's 12 colonies.
What kind of Crowd? The holoband clubs located in the virtual realm of one's mind make Club Hel look like a neighborhood bar. Teens go inside these illegal clubs to indulge in their most deviant desires, which at the very least involve kinky sex and at the very most include human sacrifice.
Why you should give it a shot: Should you meet an unfortunate demise, this is the best place to hide a virtual replica of yourself.

3.) The Snake Pit

Location: Blade Runner's Los Angeles in the year 2019.
What kind of Crowd? The world's social elite all cooped up together, smoking opium.
Why you should give it a shot: You can have fun spotting the replicants posing as bar patrons. Why stay at home, when you can witness an existential struggle over what it means to be human take place in your neighborhood bar.


4.) The Genetic Opera

Location: Repo! The Genetic Opera's Central entertainment featuring the Blind Mag.
What kind of Crowd? If you think that Los Angeles has a bad reputation for fake people, you obviously haven't been to a city where augmenting your body is as simple as going in for a haircut.
Why you should give it a shot: It's an opera, which is hardly a bar, but when you're high on the painkiller that everybody's hooked on, Zydrate, you don't really need a Rum and Coke to tickle your fancy.


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5.) Mos Eisley Cantina

Location: Mos Eisley, in the Star Wars Universe
What kind of Crowd? A seedy plethora and a who's who of the desert planet of Tatooine.
Why we'd love to go there: As long as you don't run into a wayward Jedi looking to cut off your arms, you can make a great deal on a space cruiser, and dance to the swinging cantina band.

7 Science Fictional Bars We'd Like to Visit
6.) Munden's Bar

Location: Iconic Bar from the Grimjack series
What kind of Crowd? Humans, aliens, mutants, you name it.
Why we'd love to go there: Everybody in the multiverse passes through there, and Bob the Lizard is the best drinking buddy in history. Plus based on the fact that this bar made a cameo in the best series of all time to feature genetically mutated turtles with an irrational obsession with pizza (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), we'd love to "accidentally" run into a certain martial artist rodent.

7 Science Fictional Bars We'd Like to Visit

7.) Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

Location: From Spider Robinson's sci-fi comedic series.
What kind of Crowd? From ladies of the night who hail from the darkest reaches of the universe to super intelligent talking dogs, Callahan's Saloon draws in all walks of life from every part of the galaxy.
Why we'd love to go there: It's like having your own downstairs bar in the middle of the galaxy complete with friendly (and not so friendly) aliens with drinking problems.



Come now, surely you've forgotten the greatest intergalactic bar of them all. None of these other joints can hold a candle to Milliways, the restaurant at the end of the universe, where you can comfortable watch the destruction of the entire cosmos while kicking back the greatest drink in the entire universe: The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster!