What if Wolverine worked as an artisanal maple syrup farmer who made side cash ironically fronting a Bryan Adams cover band with his single-monikered, flannel-wearing friends "Puck" and "Sasquatch?" Then he'd probably be hanging out with some of these X-Hipsters designed by Nate Bellegrade.
It looks like Emma Frost plays the role of the strung-out debutante blowing her inheritance on Mutant Growth Hormone cut with bootleg super-soldier serum and Montesi Formula ("a 616 Speedball" is the street term), whereas Jean Grey is completely inaccessible because she can read all of your lewd thoughts tout de suite (this explains why she only dates Cyclops). Also, notice Rogue's full body stocking and how Kitty Pryde is once again the epitome of class. Weirdo prep schoolers, the lot of them!
[Via Project Rooftop]